


(You) Under My Skin

by roxymissrose



Series: (You) Under My Skin [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Angst and Humor, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 12:12:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 38,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1857621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxymissrose/pseuds/roxymissrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By the twenty-first century, Wilkkind (or wilks, or wolves) had, on the whole, fully integrated with human society: lived in their cities, went to their schools, worked alongside them at their jobs, while still maintaining most of their own moral and legal codes. The integration was seamless, successful, and unknown to humankind. For most of Wilkkind, it worked just fine.  Wilk Jared PadAlecki, on the other hand, was having just a bit of trouble. Spelled "Jensen."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. …saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2014 SPN_J2_BigBang
> 
> Thank you, firesign10, for your beta work, and for helping to make this readable—any mistakes to be found are because I couldn't stop messing with it. 
> 
> Thank you also to my artist, yanyann, for your totally adorable artwork! Thanks for being so positive about this story! ♥  
> [Here's the link to the artwork!](http://yanyann.livejournal.com/12629.html)

_Prologue_  
By the year 2014, the ultimate "Others" had fully integrated into human society. Not that humans knew that...

 

In the twenty-first century, Wilkkind ( Wilks or wolves, as they called themselves) were, on the whole, living hand-in-hand with human society: living in their cities, attending their schools, working alongside them at their jobs, while still maintaining most of their own moral and legal codes. The integration was seamless, successful, and unknown to humankind. For Wilkkind, it worked just fine. 

 

_1  
…saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand_

 

Jared Tristan—third level alpha named Gamma, third issue of Gerald the prime alpha of the Alecki region, _The_ PadAlecki and Alpha Male pack leader of _all_ the Pad—dug through his mail, which happened to be addressed very simply _Jared T. Padalecki._ Much less of a mouthful then the full formal Wilk title. He tossed junk mail in the little recycling basket sitting near the lobby mailboxes and studied the single, thick envelope addressed to Mr. JT PadAlecki, Α-Γ. He glanced around guiltily and shoved it into his jacket pocket. He wondered sometimes if anyone was ever curious about the fancy, obviously expensive, gold-trimmed envelopes he occasionally got in the mail. Probably not—humans were able to ignore the most amazing things.

Whenever he thought about his peoples' history, Jared was always deeply grateful how much Wilkkind society had drifted from the Old Ways. While he enjoyed Run Night as much as any other wolf, he was glad that when it was over, he went back home to his own apartment, could order pizza and have a couple of beers while he watched the game on his ridic big TV, thanks Dad. 

Not that there was anything the slightest bit wrong with Wilkkind, or being Wilk…well, royalty, for lack of a better word. There was no denying that he had perks humans didn't—perks the run-of-the-mill _wolf_ didn't. Being the third alpha child of the Pad Pack's Alecki region Alpha was nothing to sneeze at—he had all of the fun parts and none of the bad. He was technically in line to be Pack alpha, sure—but only if a meteor landed on both Jeffery and June, his older and beloved (despite being aggravating and judgmental) siblings. Then there were all those older Pad cousins milling about, all of them more than willing to take the reins if the pack was unlucky enough to lose the *good* Alecki upper echelon. Jared was essentially free to live life as he wished. To live on his own, to work at a human job, to make popcorn and watch a little porn. Okay, a _lot_ of porn.

Jared flopped backwards on the couch and morosely chewed his way through jalapeno-flavored Pop-Wonder as he watched bland couples gyrate boringly on the screen. It was the closest he'd gotten to any kind of action in months. He sighed. On the one hand, there were tons of perks being a wolf in human clothing. On the other hand, there were also rules and expectations, and even though it was unlikely in the extreme that Jared would ever be head PadAlecki (thank Fen' for family), he still had shit he had to do. Like mate. Or at least produce offspring. Somehow. Which was going to be damn difficult because, unlike Jeffy and June, he wasn't all that hot on mating—there was this issue of gender and just what it was that buttered his biscuit, so to speak. 

He grabbed the empty popcorn bowl and slid across the bare floor—socks were great for cleaning dust off tile that way. He tossed another bag of popcorn in the microwave and watched it swell and pop. That bag could be a metaphor for his life. Only his life was devoid of salty goodness, and would be forever if his mom had her way. He wondered if there was any way to get out of meeting this "amazing" new female his mom decided was just tail-wagging perfect for him. 

_"Jared, she's very sweet. Did I tell you she's related to Bitsy Pawl? One of the Arewskis—you know how creative they are. I'm sure you'll just love her."_

No, he wouldn't. And he couldn't help but notice that she was hunting entirely off the PadAlecki tree, well outside their ring of cousins. Which was actually kind of an improvement when he thought about it. His family was all great, but some of them were just a little…well…boring. 

Jared was sprinkling some cheese over the finished batch of popcorn (cheddar cheese was little golden chunks of awesome) when he caught a whiff of The Most Delicious Smell in the whole world. Pine needles and hay and salt, caramel, a dash of…of Hennessey….

 

For a hot second he was stretched out belly-down in a meadow, sunlight baking into his skin, surrounded by that smell…warm fur, skin, brushing against his shoulders and the small of his back and—Jared's eyes flew open. He was panting, but just a bit, subtle like—definitely not in an embarrassing, 'hadn't been laid in forever' way. 

His _neighbor_ was home. 

Mr. Ackles, dreamboat. The guy whose door he'd knocked on two times since the man had moved in to Jared's building last month, ostensibly to hand over his mail but in actuality to flinch and stammer and drool with a side of yammering before thrusting the envelopes at him. Jared smacked himself. It was disgusting that he turned into a twelve year old girl at the slightest sniff of the man. Damn Ackles' scent had a tendency to do that to him. Like, all the time. 

He shoved the bowl aside, leaped off the couch. It took him an anxious moment to find his sneaks and jam his feet into them. He snatched his jacket up and flung it on. Stopped at his door to take a calming breath before stepping casually out into the hallway, heading towards the elevators. Mr. J Ackles was just stepping through the closing doors. He lifted his head in an odd way, almost like he was scenting the air. Jared indulged in a brief fantasy of Mr. J. Ackles scenting him, realizing that here in this very slightly-cabbagy-smelling hallway was his meant-to-be soulmate—

J. Ackles' head snapped down as he sneezed wetly, and Jared's fantasy blew apart. Mr. Ackles was frowning spectacularly as he turned, but it turned into a shame-faced smile when he saw Jared.

Jared smiled coolly in return, the very picture of suave. Like…Like James Bond. He stopped himself from tossing Jensen a little salute. He had his keys in his hand and he'd probably put his eye out. Besides…saluting…just. No.

Mr. Ackles' perfectly pink, plump lips parted, displaying teeth pretty and white (no matter that they were a little small and flat) and shining like pearls…he spoke and Jared's entire body quivered with the act of paying attention. "Oh, hey there—Jarvis—Jaron—"

"Jared." Jared stared into Mr. J. Ackles' beautiful, moss-green eyes and gushed, "That's me, that's my name, yuh." He was an educator of children—this was his best effort? "'m the one in the apartment almost next to—I live—um, right back there…hah, yuh, you know that…" Jared trailed off. There was no way he could finish that sentence without seeming stalkerish. Of course, there was the little problem that he _was_ a stalker. Did it count if he wasn't human? His behavior wasn't all that weird for a wolf, after all. Not extremely weird, anyway—

"Hi? Hello?"

Fucking Mr. J. Ackles was staring at him, the smile on his face going kind of slightly south.

"Yes! Sorry! I was thinking about—my stove! Wondering if I'd shut the. The gas off."

"Really? How odd. My stove's electric…yours is gas?" Mr. J. Ackles took a slight step back and Jared smelled how he went from _'oh, there's a face I recognize_ to _possible danger, Will Robinson._

Jared laughed and waved the entire conversation away. "I don’t know what I'm thinking, yes, my stove is electric. My mother has a gas stove." He smiled brightly at Mr. J. Ackles, who smiled back. Somewhat. 

"So…"

"Jared." Jared supplied helpfully.

"Yes, Jared—I'm Jensen by the way, I should have introduced myself before. And thanks, by the way, for bringing my mail in. It's ridiculous the way they keep mistaking 3E for 8E but there you go. Thank god for the excellent school system, eh?" 

He twinkled and Jared had to pull himself back from a far, far away place, where they gamboled naked in sparkling turquoise waves and sipped fruity, pretty drinks on golden sands; where he spread sunscreen on J. Ackles' broad, freckled shoulders and fucked like, like— 

"Yes, yes—school," Jared said, and grinned. He felt vaguely that he should defend the system, seeing as how he was a teacher, but…Mr. J. Ackles, _'Jensen',_ Jared reminded himself, just cocked an eyebrow at Jared and tilted his head a bit. Jared thought it made him look like an inquisitive cub. And totally adorable. 

Jensen moved and broke the spell. He jerked a thumb down the hallway. "Welp, gotta go scrape off the gunk of the day. See you later, Jared." He emphasized the name a bit. Jared knew it meant 'See, I remembered this time' but he chose to take it to mean _see you later._ Or even, _"See you. Later. With bells on, and not much else."_ Yeah, that was it. 

 

Jared moved closer to the elevator doors and watched Jensen move quickly away down the hall. Jensen turned and waved bye as he opened his apartment door. Jared waved back and pressed the first button his thumb landed on. He'd wait a bit before going back to his apartment. _You know,_ he told himself, _it's not going to take much longer before Jensen begins to suspect something odd's up, what with me showing up 'surprise, surprise!' up every time he's in the hallway._

He rose a floor, went back down and then snuck back into his own apartment.

+

_"Jared, you better come home and meet this girl Mama found for you before I drive down there and choke you."_

Jared nodded like Jeff could hear it, and tried not to squirt the phone out from where it was squeezed between his cheek and his shoulder. He cleared his desk, shoving papers and an empty lunch bag into his briefcase. "Okay, okay. I'll try and get next weekend off. Where's she from?" Dang, there was another note from Sarah, who was totally not his type aside from being too female and about ten years too young…he'd have to get Katie to talk to the kid again.

_"She's Aiask region, a _Pad_ Aiask cousin—beta."_

"Beta? Really? Why?"

 _"Because they're pretty sure you have no interest in being an alpha of anything. And a PadAiask is a good choice. Good bloodlines, tough. Out-doorsy."_ Jeffy sounded approving, probably because Barb, his fiancé, was Asiak as well. Jared sighed. His big brother could not get past the fact that Jared wasn't that little kid anymore who always wanted to follow in Jeff's footsteps. 

"What if I want to go like, totally outside the territory? What if I wanted a Jan, or a Stas?"

_"Do you think either Mama or Dad would care at this point? Anyway, Dad's blood cousin is Jan. no one cares about that kind of thing anymore. Besides, it's—"_

"Good for the bloodlines," he parroted Jeffy. "I know, I know." He was quiet for a long minute, so long that Jeff asked if he was still on the line. Jared grunted and shut his classroom door with his foot as he exited and again tried not to drop his phone. He heard Jeffy sigh.

_"Look, little brother. Can I ask you something?"_

"Um. Maybe," Jared said. He trotted down the hall, waving as he passed coworkers, fielding invites, pointing at the phone and rolling his eyes. _Family. What are you gonna do with 'em, am I right?_ He got waved along, right out the side door and into the faculty lot. 

_"Are you even interested in mating? I mean, If you're not, that's—y'know, that's fine—"_

"Wha—hey, um. Call me back, Jeff, something's come up." 

He disconnected as fast as he could. Fuck. He wasn't ready for any kind of conversation like that. He flung his briefcase into the backseat of Stinko, his car, and rubbed his temples. He sniffed lightly. The smell of parking lot was mixed with the smell of students, light whiff of pot smoke, mostly cigarettes—the usual. He sighed, tired of the sameness, tired of his family's well-meaning poking about in his business. Tired of sitting alone in his car.

He wasn't ready to admit to Jeff, or any one of his family, that it wasn't mating itself that held no interest for him. He just wasn't interested in a good wolf girl. Or a human girl for that matter. Or much of anybody except Mr. Jensen Ackles. He turned the key in the ignition and wrinkled his nose at the blast of car stink that assaulted him before quickly fading to bearable levels. He had to tell them sometimes, though…Fen'sjaw….

Mom and Dad were going to have _kittens._

In all his twenty-three years, he'd never met a gay Alecki. Or a gay Pad, period. He squinted in thought. Well, there was that real close set of cousins, out by Arewski way. Arewski were a big region, free thinkers—artsy bunch. Lots and lots of cousins denned up close, everyone tended to share some scent. Except those particular guys, practically all you _could_ smell was each other on them, no one else….

Jared figured he might want to pay more attention to which cousins were extra close next time he came home for a Pad Regions Run. He sighed. It was crazy in this day and age of instant, world-wide communication that the day-to-day life of other Packs were still fairly mysterious to each other. All he really knew was the America World Territories, and not all that much of anything outside of Pad at that. 

He guided Stinko in and out of traffic until they were humming along towards home. Jared finally relaxed. He'd stop in and pick up some takeout from the diner around the corner. The owner was Pad and always stuffed a little extra in Jared's takeout box, light on the veggies. Plus it was great to be able to point out to his mom that he wasn't a poor, single, lonely Wolf in the city. There were enough cousins around to have a run right in the city. Only not, because it might draw some unwanted attention when a gang of outsized wolves suddenly decided to dash down a street in broad daylight. Or evening. Or anytime.

He parked in Pedroncelli's lot and trotted through the diner's doors.

"PadAlecki! Welcome, welcome, Jared!" Nick beamed at him, and it was probably only being around a host of humans that kept him from adding _Alpha,_ Jared was sure. Pack politics were in the blood. Jared shook his head. He wasn't an Alpha to Nick anyway, since he was younger than Nick by a decade and only a third son to boot. But Nick liked old ways and was a beta, so…besides, free pie trumped everything, Jared decided. He grabbed his boxes and forced Pedroncelli to take payment for the burger at least, and finally, finally, he was home. 

He strolled inside and dropped his bags and briefcase, kicked off his shoes and dropped his clothes where he stood. Stretched, yawned and shook himself hard. With a ripple that he knew looked like watching a vid through melting glass, he let the Wilk out. It felt damn good, like taking off a comfy t-shirt that had inexplicably gotten tighter as the day wore on. He yawned a few times, licked his jaws, tasting dry-erase marker and industrial hand-soap—he sneezed. 

"Mrrgg," he complained before shaking himself again, this time for the joy of it. His tail whipped back and forth when he inhaled. The hamburger he'd bought at the diner smelled amazing: deep rich meat tones, overlaid with the thick, creamy smell of cheese and the bright, acidy scent of tomatoes. The pepper made his nose prickle but he knew it'd be a sharp burst of flavor on his tongue and a nice counterpoint to the cheese and mayo…but if he pulled the hamburger to the floor, he'd have to clean up the mess after and right at the moment he just wasn't feeling it. The fries on the other hand—he pulled the box of fries down and let the box burst open on the tiles. 

He was muzzle deep in grease and potatoes, snuffling happily, when the Smell hit. Intense, always so intense when he was in Wilk form. So hard to resist. _Jensen._ Shit, even saying his name in his head felt good. Jensen…it rolled through him like a shot of top-shelf booze. Jared wanted to bound down the hallway and burst into Jensen's place, wanted to knock Jensen to his knees and wrap his legs around his hips, tuck him up close and tight, rub up against Jensen until his legs opened and Jared could slide right inside…Jared came back to reality with his eyes narrowed in pleasure, his tail slowly sweeping back and forth as he humped the air….

Shit. He was a loser as a wolf too. He stared glumly at the cooling mess of fries. Huffed, and gobbled a mouthful. No sense wasting food, after all.

+

Monthly Run Night was generally something that Jared liked. Almost nothing felt as good as running through the woods with your skin out. _Almost—_ there was sex.

Speaking of sex, he'd brought Jensen's mail to him again that afternoon, with a rueful grin and a _My word. However does your mail keep ending up in my mailbox?_

They'd shared chuckles over that, easier now that Jared was less a stammering fool since he and Jensen were on a first-name basis. Now that he knew that all Jensen's mail was addressed to J. Ackles because Jensen had had no end of trouble with _"Two last names."_ And Jared had expressed outrage that no one got that Jensen was a lovely, masculine first name that rolled off the tongue like music, that filled one's mind with peace and felt like rolling in summer-air-dried cotton sheets—he'd not actually said any of that but he'd thought it really loud. He'd chatted with Jensen, happily certain the man would never learn that the mailman stuffing his mail into Jared's box was a beta cousin, a PadEwski doing it as a favor…more or less…okay, maybe it was a _command._ Jared was an Alpha after all—even a third alpha outranked a beta. The Ewskis were a sketchy lot anyway, not that Jared really bought into stereotypes like that. Much.

This _particular_ Monthly Run Night, Jared was at home, stretched out, comfortably shedding on his couch and rolling on a pile of Jensen's mail that he'd promised to get for him while Jensen was out of town. Turned out it was a monthly thing, this being gone for a week. It took all of Jared's charm and liberal use of dimples to get Jensen to agree that Jared should bring his mail in when he was gone. Jensen agreed to that and not only that, he asked if Jared would mind keeping an eye on his apartment for him—water his plants, stuff like that. 

Jensen left him copies of his keys. Jensen trusted him. They were friends like _that._ It was a fucking fantasy come true. He stared at the keys on the table, eyes narrowed in pleasure and his tail thumping a steady beat on the upholstery. Jensen Ackle's keys. Jensen's keys right there so Jared could let himself into Jensen's apartment. 

_His apartment._

Jared's jaw dropped. Wait. Jensen's apartment. Which meant…his rooms. The BEDROOM. _Oh…my…_ Jared let out a deep woof of astonishment. What the fuck—no, what the absolute _fuck,_ Slow, slow brain—

He scrambled off the couch, legs churning, nails clicking and scratching against the tiles as the full impact hit him. Oh, the possibilities, the opportunities….

Jared shrugged the Wilk back inside and dressed quickly as he could. He ran for the door, had to run back for the shoes he'd forgotten. He grabbed Jensen's mail and made a mental note not to roll so enthusiastically next time, the envelopes were a little creased. He left his apartment, whistling jauntily and running into no one. He let himself into Jensen's apartment with just the tiniest stab of guilt that was quickly overridden by a huge bolt of lust. 

 

This…this was heaven. The mail dropped out of his hand to scatter on the floor. Lovely, oak hardwood floors, totally unlike the bland tiles in his own place. Bright, sun-toned walls that made him glad the Wilk weren't color-blind like canines. The large rooms sported cheerful furnishings, all Ikea but he could forgive his Jensen that—if he had a thing for MDF, who was Jared to judge—

He inhaled deeply, groaning. It…yes, it smelled exactly like Jared's idea of heaven. He laid his hand on the back of Jensen's couch, slowly stoking the leather...fuck, he was getting hard. He gulped. It was okay, Wilkkind was perfectly understanding of this…impulse. It was lust forcing his modern self to submit to the instincts of his primitive Wilk ancestors, yes. He had to check out the mating den to see if it was—

Oh fuck, screw it; he was a pervert, plain and simple. The only thing he could hope for was that Jensen didn't decide suddenly to come home early and catch him humping his couch. 

Jared looked around guiltily. What if Jensen had nanny-cams tucked around the room? Right, to spy on his ficus. Aloe, whatever that leafy thing in the corner was. Jared peered into the plant's pot, poked a finger into its moist soil and reminded himself to water it before Jensen came home again. He slunk down the hall that led into the bedroom and moaned quietly. He was _assaulted_ with the smell of his true love. It wafted through the room, stronger in spots as Jared disturbed the air. That sunny, clean, meadow-y smell…his nose wrinkled. There was a tiny, tiny hint of an odd smell interwoven with the good...like meat. Not rotten, it wasn't coming from the kitchen. A good smell actually, he just didn't know what kind of meat it was. Jared shrugged and opened the door to Jensen's private room. His knees went briefly rubbery; he rolled his lips inward to keep from moaning out loud and drooling like a kid catching his first whiff of heatsign. 

He loved the bedroom—the bedroom was _amazing._ Sure, under the really damn good smell, there was the ever-present scent of particle board, but the _bed._ It called him—it was a huge, heavy, oak thing, heaped with creamy looking piles of chocolate-colored linen and pillows. Substantial posts stood thick and tall at each corner, turned and burnished a warm brown. Not heirloom, but not as brand-shiny new as the rest of the place. He stroked the bed posts, liking the way the wood warmed under his hand. "Jensen sleeps here. He lies down on this bed every night he's home…" Jared inhaled and smiled. "Right in this bed—" he frowned. 

_And not alone._ The fine hair at the nape of his neck and across his shoulders tried to stand straight up. His lip curled back from his top teeth. His fingers curled and his nails lengthened just a bit before Jared got hold of himself. 

Fuck. 

He whipped his clothes off and shook himself hard. Deep in his wolf, he leaped at the bed, ran his muzzle over the posts, the mattress; he crawled under the bed and snuffled. The bed reeked of a couple dozen partners. Mostly men. When the heck was he bringing these men home? He never noticed Jensen having an active…social life. He inhaled again. Lots of the scents were old, stale…some so weak, it was hard to pick them up. Now that he'd calmed down and taken some thoughtful sniffs, he realized that one of the female scent tags was nearly faded to nothing. Must have been quite some time since that one was around. Jensen was definitely more into men…he smelled blood, too, and the faintest reek of vomit. That troubled him. It could be anything, from a hangover to the flu to, to… damn it, that blood scent kept leaping out at him, weak as it was. The blood was all Jensen's, that much he knew. And it was closely tied to the stink of vomit and it worried him, worried him a lot. He huffed. At any rate, that smell was old, and the most recent scent was pure sex…and it smelled of Jensen and didn't. Weird, like someone else was having sex in Jensen's bed….

Jared hunched his shoulders guilty and stopped pushing his hips into the floor. 

"Maaarph." He wiggled out from under the bed and jumped up onto the bed, rolling all over the cover and pillows. They were clean and smelled like not much of anything. Jensen must have made the bed up with fresh linens before leaving. Jared rolled around like a cub, ended up curling into a tight ball and falling asleep. 

He woke up with a start—the tail-end of a dream still vivid in his mind; he was running across his dad's land with a beautiful blond wolf, a shining example of Wilkkind. He growled softly. Why couldn't Jensen be Wilk? It wasn't fair. He wished Jensen was a Wilk. Wished it was possible to turn him like those horror movies. It would make everything so much easier. Though something told him even if it was possible, Jensen's first act as a new-born Wilk would probably be to rip Jared's liver out.

+

_"Selinda sent me a letter. You remember Miss Selinda; I introduced you all that one time, the year the All Region was in Sacramento?"_

Jared had been maybe ten at the time so no, he really didn't. He made a non-committal noise and went on separating his students' essays into "Oh my God", and "Not quite hopeless" piles. A slight headache vibrated at his temples.

_"…and she agreed that you and Nancy, her daughter, the one that had braces then? She doesn’t now but—"_

Oh. Right. That one. But…"They're Jan pack! In fact they're JanKowiak, aren't they? What the heck, Mom?"  
 _"Jared, don't be like that. I want to school with Selinda JanKowiak and she was perfectly lovely. And I hear nothing but good things about them."_

"So what you’re telling me is that you and Dad are getting so desperate that you're willing to pimp me out to a whole different Pack?"

_"Jared! We're not—not—"_

"Mom, I gotta go, my laundry's on fire." 

He hung up, ignoring his mother's voice crackling through the line. Jared banged his head lightly against an upper-cabinet and seriously considered throwing the stew he was reheating into the trash. "Damn it." He threw himself down at the kitchen counter instead, and pouted while he picked chunks of boar out of the stew.

Fucking Jeff and his fucking perfect little Pad fiancé and fucking June and her perfect fucking Pernel husband. And kids. Damn cute kids…but his sibs were putting pressure on him by being everything an alpha mom and dad could want. He'd left the pack's land so he could live the life he wanted to…which, okay, was pretty much to live like a human, but that was no reason to judge him. Lots of Wilkkind preferred to live like humans. Not everyone wanted to grub around all Wilk-like. 

Jared huffed. Well, he supposed growing up on a sprawling ranch with a view of the mountains from nearly every room of the family house, with every imaginable convenience _plus_ Run Night couldn't exactly be called grubbing….

 

He peered around his tiny apartment with its view of a brick wall and sighed. Whatever. He couldn't go back to PadAlecki. And once they found out that he wanted a male mate, they'd kick him off the land anyway. Better to leave on his own paw. Live on his own terms instead of being…being forced to go.

+

The whole week had been one misstep after another for Jared. He'd managed to piss off his friends by bowing out of a get-together they'd planned for a month, and it was all his fault. He'd totally blanked on the fact that it was the same day as All Pack night. The once-every-four-years All Pack Run Night was _the_ meet-up, and one he was not allowed to miss. Not with the Three Packs attending—Fen'sjaw, all the damn politics with all the damn tradition heaped on top. Tradition demanded the Alphas and their families all come together at this time, barring any excuse except death, or lingering at death's door. Only betas not married to alphas were technically exempt from attending—and they tried their best to come if they could as well. It wasn't like any of the Runs weren't great—he always ended up having a pretty good time. Spending a few days just letting the fur out without having to worry about humans being around was always relaxing.

Jared kicked his front door shut behind him and set his briefcase down. He slipped off his jacket and tie and threw himself down on the couch. He considered his dinner options—meager choices since dinner with Katie and Roger and Dwayne was definitely out. He was pretty sure that everyone at Ira Middle School hated his guts right now. There was some venison June had brought with her last time she came to nag the life out of him—pardon, _visit—_ there was some leftover takeout. He was thinking about asking Jensen if he might be willing to go out and grab a bite when his phone rang. He was jumped up, hoping that maybe it was Jensen, calling to as _him_ out for a bite but no. No such luck. 

_"Jay-Jay, honey, it's June. Sweetie, when's the earliest you can come home? You know we're hosting the All Pack this Run—"_

"Fenrir, June—stop calling me Jay-Jay! I'm not a damn cub anymore! Besides, how could I forget, ya'll have been reminding me for the last two years," he whined, totally ignoring the fact that he had indeed forgotten. Pfft. He had a life to concentrate on. He listened to Junie drone on about his responsibilities as Pad, blah blah and blah, which basically bled out to _" Jay-Jay, Momma and Daddy and I are working hard"_ trying to hook him up with potentials; he should do his duty as a Pad Alpha, gamma or not. More blah-blah. Bad enough his family were forever rubbing their faces in his business, now they were also stressing about making it the best damn Run ever in the history of Runs, and Mom and June were shedding their fur with the stress….

+

Jared made arrangements with the school to take a week off, citing surgery and recovery time needed. What, so he lied. He was Wilk, not human. Some things just were. Besides, he'd definitely need recovery time. Three days of furry revelry were bound to wear him out. Katie got wind of it and was all over him, pissed that he hadn't mentioned it, worried that it was "something bad? Is that why you canceled dinner on us? Why didn't you just tell us—or—oh my god, is it—?" She lifted her hands and covered her mouth in a totally over-dramatic way, her huge blue eyes staring out over them.

"No, Katie, I swear, it's not life-threatening, just embarrassing. And non-sharable. And _not_ sexually-transmitted, you wretch!" 

That did the trick. It also lead to humorous speculation on her part, along with mild sympathy and muttered comments of what a big baby he was. He'd have been hurt if she hadn't capped off her comments with big hugs. A few of his friends offered their homes, or promised to visit—Roger, who taught art and specialized in sarcasm, promised to come with _food._ It warmed Jared's heart that Roger knew him so well. Dwayne, another 8th grade teacher and after-work bud, got all misty-eyed with worry, and Jared realized that here in the city, he'd found another bunch of cousins. Hairless and flat-toothed, but loving all the same. He turned them all down, letting them know he'd be "recuperating" at his folks', but it touched him. He'd really thought his friendships were based solely on "tease Jared for being a giant goof." It was a good feeling to know they cared.

+

That evening, Jared called Jensen and asked if he'd mind taking his mail and keeping an eye on his apartment. He didn't get as much mail as Jensen did, but he was imagining all his mail smelling like Jensen when he asked, and he could barely keep the whine out of his voice.

_"I don’t mind, not at all—say, you busy right now? Wanna grab a cup of coffee? Jared?"_

Jared's mind flashed back to the here and now—it felt like he'd passed out briefly. "Coffee?" No original words would appear, _coffee_ just kept echoing in his head. 

_"Oh, if you're busy or…or not interested, it's perfectly okay—"_

The slight tinge of disappointment Jared was almost sure he heard in Jensen's voice broke through his _lust/longing/desire_ clogged brain. "YES. I mean, yes, I'd love to go for…when?"

"I've got a couple of hours free and I just don’t feel like squatting on the couch with a movie and a bowl of popcorn." 

"I know, right? Pfft." Jared scoffed, eying the petrified popcorn peeking out of his couch cushions. "I'll be right there," he said and hung up before Jensen could change his mind. He ran into his room and ripped the off sweatshirt he was currently wearing, deciding that Jensen probably wouldn't be impressed by his manly musk—yet—and dashed into the bathroom, washing his pits and spraying antiperspirant liberally. He had a tendency to sweat a lot in human form. 

Before knocking on Jensen's door, he took a few minutes to compose himself, not wanting to look like he'd just dragged a washcloth over his body and stuck his head under the faucet to wet his hair so he could wrestle it behind his ears before running down the hall. Which is exactly what he had done, of course, but he didn't want to _look_ like he had. 

Jensen answered the door right away when he knocked, a big grin making the corners of his eyes crinkle sweetly. He glanced up at Jared's hair and the grin widened a bit. Jared felt his cheeks go red. _Whatever._ "I'm not too early, am I?"

"No," Jensen said. "You're just right." And his cheeks went slightly pink. Jared wanted to imagine that Jensen had meant that as a compliment. He felt more warmth come off Jensen's skin…it made him smell even better. Jared tried to sniff subtly. Damn…Jensen smelled so good it took all his willpower not to lean over, shove his nose in Jensen's neck and just snort up huge draughts of him. Thank Fenrir his momma taught him better than that. He subtly sniffed again…there was that weird, salty meat smell again—a little like salt-cured beef, with a slightly bitter tang to it. Maybe Jensen had had it for lunch….

+

They walked to a café that Jensen liked; they got a little table, and Jared was pleasantly surprised to notice that Jensen picked a table positioned as privately as possible. He was sure it meant something.

They swapped small-talk that eventually shifted to more personal conversation. Jared volunteered that he was a teacher, "Shaping minds for the future," he said solemnly, and grinned when Jensen snorted. "So, what do you do Jen…sen?" biting back the nick-name that came so easily.

"Oh, I'm…I'm an actor," Jensen said. "Well, sometimes, most of the time I'm a secretary and gofer and all around bodyslave…" 

Jensen winced and practically shoved his face into his coffee mug. His ears went so red that Jared could practically feel the heat of them. He seemed awfully embarrassed but all Jared heard was 'actor'. "You are? Like, on TV and stuff? Have I seen you?"

"Um, probably not, I've just done some, some local ads and, uh, community theater," Jensen muttered. He sipped his coffee, casually looking anywhere but at Jared. 

_That's odd._ Jensen had just straight-up lied to him. His scent had skyrocketed as his temperature went up; the slight bitter tang he'd noticed earlier was more noticeable. Jared wondered why, but before he could poke around a bit and find out more, Jensen interrupted his thoughts.

"So, interesting job, this teaching? What grade?"

Jared went along with Jensen's moving the topic away from himself—the rest of the conversation wound down into a description of how weird eighth graders could be, with lots of delicious laughing on Jensen's part and a deep, deep satisfaction on Jared's part. They'd sat together, Jared hadn't done anything totally stupid, he hadn't scared Jensen with his stalkery tendencies. He counted it as a major, major win and a great kind of pre-date. With hopefully more to come.

They strolled back to their apartment building, chatting about nothing more important than what flavor ice-cream was the best, and whether flavored coffee was a sin or not, Jensen coming down firmly in the sin camp.

It was wonderful, amazing…a happy tingle raced over Jared's skin. It felt like every run he'd ever raced in was perfectly condensed into this moment. Jensen laughed at something Jared said, and Jared basked in the sound. It was beautiful, the way the sun made Jensen glow, the way it poured over his cheekbones like honey, made his full lips shine like ripe berries. His moss green eyes shone bright in the late afternoon light. One glorious day, Jared promised himself, he'd map every single freckle on the man's body, every one, and sink his hands into the tawny spikes of Jensen's hair and never let go.

Jensen snorted softly, looked at him in a way Jared chose to see as fond. He wasn't screaming _creepy hair-touching stalker_ at any rate. 

He nudged Jared's shoulder. "Gotta get back, Jared." 

Jensen's hand slid past Jared's as he moved away and Jared's skin shivered where Jensen touched it. Jared's senses exploded at the touch. The sun felt like wonderful, like hot fur rubbing across his shoulders, warming his scalp, his neck, as they walked. The air flowed warm and smooth as silk around them as they walked, drifted a dozen different scents past them but none of them was as interesting, as _delicious,_ as Jensen's.

+

Back at their building, Jared barely restrained himself from bounding up the stairs to hold the doors open for Jen. _Sen—Jensen, damn it._ At the elevator, he punched the button for their floor and grinned at Jensen who gave him a sweet smile back. "Hey, I had a real good time," Jared said. "Can…maybe we can do it again, tomorrow, or this weekend? I know a great place for lunch—hamburgers big as hubcaps." It'd be real incentive for Jared, big old juicy burgers, dripping with fried onions and tomato slices and hand-cut, salty fries on the side…Jared blinked. Side-slid a little there. Jensen was saying something and he didn't look particularly encouraging.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jared—I guess I wasn't clear earlier. I'm leaving tonight. Won't be back until Monday."

Jared blinked, felt his smile go a little wobbly. "Oh, are you going to be filming?" he asked and tried to mask his disappointment—none too successfully, apparently.

Jensen's eyes slipped off Jared's face. He seemed to find the floor of the elevator fascinating. "Yes, a…an instructional video. Business." He shrugged.

Jared nodded like he had any idea of what Jensen meant until he remembered some safety films he'd had to watch, 'a what-to-do in-case-of' sort of thing and figured that's why Jen—Jensen—was a little embarrassed. "Hey, dude—any work is good work, right?" 

Jensen licked his lip and shrugged, but still didn't meet Jared's eyes. He didn't speak until they were standing in front of his door. "Yeah…so, my, my ride's gonna be here shortly. I have to get inside and finish packing, so…so long."

Jared took a couple of steps back and tried not to frown. It felt a little like he'd stuck his finger in a light socket. Here he was thinking that the coffee-date-thingy had gone pretty well but he knew a brush-off when he heard it. The cured meat smell was back. "Oh, sure, sure, I'll just, I'll get your mail for you, if you want…"

"It's okay, Jared, you really don't have to," Jensen said and opened the door just enough to squeeze into his apartment. He gave Jared a quick little wave and shut the door. It wasn't a yes and not quite a no and it certainly wasn't okay. Jensen had gone rabbit-quick from warm and fond to weird and wired. And that _smell…_ Jared wiped his mouth. The smell was wriggling under his fur. It made his mouth water but at the same time, made his nails pop a bit. The hair on the back of his neck was trying to rise, too…if he was in wolf- shape, he'd be blown up like a bottlebrush.

+

Jared felt guilty every time he walked past Jensen's over-stuffed mailbox, but his momma didn't raise no lapdog. Jared had some pride. If Jensen didn't want Jared rolling on— _picking up_ his mail or watering his dumb…whatever that leafy thing was, then fine. So be it.

In fact, the day Jensen arrived home again, Jared was in the middle of packing to go back to the family ranch and didn’t give Jensen a single thought. Not once did the hotness that was Jensen Ackles cross his mind. He was going home, and he was going to have a great time, the most amazing good time ever and….

 

Jared sighed and dropped a t-shirt into his bag. He was exhausted by the effort of holding a grudge. Maybe it was for the best that he was going home. It'd be good for him to run a little steam off, scarf down some BBQ, play with the cubs….

Let Mom and Junie nag him about some girl or another— _Fenrir._

Maybe…maybe with everyone all full of food and sleepy from the run and all, it'd be the right time to straighten some things out with them…"Heh. Straighten," Jared murmured to himself. "Good one."

Great. Jensen had him talking to himself now. 

He shouldered his bag and stepped out into the hallway. Had to swallow down a whine when he caught a whiff of Jensen—so sweet, so real. He whimpered slightly—froze when he thought heard an answering whine, and a quiet, stuttering, yip of a bark. He hesitated at the odd sound, but decided he must be hearing the ancient, fat pug his other neighbor owned. The little bastard was probably choking on a hotdog. When Jared focused, he could hear Jensen all right, talking to some deep-voiced someone. Jared's jealousy flared up—he didn't want to know who it was. Probably some loser who was going to add to the scent of the oak bed _he_ should be in—"Gaarrr, idiot." He shook those ridiculous thoughts right out of his head. 

Fuck, Jensen made him stupid.

+

Alecki lands rolled past his window; out of the corner of his eyes, he caught flashes of ochre and sage and bright smears of violet-blue curving over the hills, along with the occasional silver flash of sunlight on water. The road followed a creek that zigged and zagged almost the entire length of Pad land…he'd splashed through parts of it millions of times, all through his childhood. It called out to him, it smelled of home. And home was beautiful, there was no denying that. The slash of sky crowning the hills was so pure and so, so _blue_ it felt like it should hurt his eyes. His chest tightened a bit with the solid, deep feeling of _safe,_ his land…his birthplace….

At that moment, it flashed across his soul how _unfair_ it was that he'd never be happy the way Jeffy and Junie were happy, that he couldn't be content to mate some Wilk girl his family approved of and settle down and raise a family on pack lands. He had no choice—it was be himself or—or fall to pieces. So he stayed away as much as he could, remade himself in a place the old ones still didn't really understand. Not that it was all bad. Wolves like Jared, the ones who'd left the land and forged a link between the old ways and human ways, kept the pack growing. They were the ones who brought back fresh meat for thought; each young generation dragged the old into the new era. Change was everything; the wolf who hid in the den was the wolf who starved. So, yeah, he was doing something productive, not just hiding. 

Right. Jared sighed and shook his head. He was out here to have fun, reconnect, not discover the meaning of life. 

 

He drove on, muttering the words to the song pouring from his speakers, all heartbreak and steel guitars, bobbing his head to the melody. Had to admit that his spirit grew lighter the closer he got to home. He pictured the hills the sprawling ranch lay in, the meadows around it. The families would all be there, their tents and blankets would be spread over the grass, good music and laughter filling the air. He pictured the tables groaning with food, there would be fires burning, ready for the night. Of course, there would also be empty pens at the edges of the meadows where deer or boar had been. His stomach lurched just a bit, half faint self-loathing, half hunger. Jared had to admit: he had a wee, tiny problem. 

And no matter what crap June spouted, it wasn't because he was ashamed of being Wilk, _never_ anything like that—fuck, he was proud of it. It was just…Grammy called it Assimilation Syndrome, like it was some bad thing. Pfft.

Just because he didn't spend the majority of his time with people who ran through forests with their fur hanging out, who ripped rabbits to shreds before swallowing them practically whole and raw, above all _raw,_ didn't mean he didn't _want_ to. Why, he _loved_ the taste of elk fresh from the bone. Jared smacked his lips, fought down the slight, queasy roll in his gut. Yum. Dead things, just like mother used to make. 

_Fuck._ Who was he kidding? He was a gay, diet-challenged, rug-sleeping… _dog._ He was a disgusting disgrace who hardly deserved to call himself a PadAlecki. He should change his name to Smith, or—or _Rover_ and just disappear.

"Gah, fucking whining—I'm getting on my own fucking nerves!" He punched the steering wheel and yanked Stinko to the shoulder. He was deep enough into pack land that he could leave his car without worry. He got out, slipped off his clothes and slipped on his fur. He dashed off for the tree line, determined to run off the funk and stupidity that was clogging his brain. 

A good hour of hurling himself through the woods wore most of his self-pity away. Back at the car, his wolf tucked away again, he flopped his bare ass across the bench seat. Sweating and panting but he was feeling more aligned with his Wilk self. It was damn good to kick off the human traces for a bit. He always forgot, after an extended time away from home, how _good_ it felt to just—be. It was nothing like lounging around on the couch being furry, or skulking around the dog park. Sure, from time to time he'd hook up with a group of cousins and do a short midnight park run, but Jared never really found it satisfying and it was hardly worth the trouble….

This here—this, this— _land_ was what being a Wilk was all about. His growing sense of content was just a wee bit deflated when his thoughts turned to Jensen and how this was never going to be part of them and oh, yeah—there was no them anyway. 

 

He pulled his clothes on over sweat-sticky skin and got back in the driver's seat. He turned the key, sneezed at the familiar stink. He patted Stinko's dash fondly and turned it back towards the road and to home.

+

The PadAlecki ranch sprawled over a large piece of flat land, climbing slightly up, or rather _into_ a hillside. There were a ton of cars parked in the driveway, a driveway big enough to land a helicopter on.

The Alecki private nature preserve was a couple of hundred thousand acres. The pack supported itself leasing land for farming, ranching, and hunting. They managed pack-owned campgrounds and hiking trails, a tiny resort—all of it totally separate from pack lands. There was more than enough room on the lands for the Pads to run, to hunt, or to live full time in Wilk tradition if they chose without ever running into a human. 

Those that chose to live Wilk had direct access to the Pad ranch any time of day or night. They answered to Gram—they better answer to Gram because Wilk life in the 21st century was a complicated thing. It was balancing identities, or dropping off the grid, something that got more and more complicated as peoples' lives became more tracked and controlled. Jared thought in this day and age it was easier in some ways to just live human—not that he'd ever tell his grandmother that.

 

He pulled into the drive, parked his shabby little beater behind a clutch of glitzy SUVs. Before he could even grab his bag out of the back seat, he was hit by a pack of cubs and kid-shaped cubs—siblings and close cousins and just curious little kid-cousins from the Jan and Stas packs. They were all cute as hell, but he needed his legs to walk so he threw his head back and let out a howl. Moms and dads came from every where, laughing and peeling cubs off Jared. He kept hold of June's spawn though—he felt a special connection to the little monsters. Some of the alphas came out to greet him too, the Pad Alphas of course; Dad and Gram and the rest of Alecki Alphas, Mom and Jeff and June. Gram came trotting to the front of the group, and shook into human. 

"Jay, dear, how are you? Oh, it's so good to see you."

He took a moment to imagine his co-workers seeing him embrace a tiny, wrinkly, naked, old woman and snuffled a little giggle into her hair. "Sorry, Gram. It's just—"

"Ach," she waved her hand. "You modern Wilk, you're all so annoyingly human, with your odd human ways. Pernrod." She snapped tiny fingers and a huge guy made up of denim and body hair draped Gram's frail frame in a terry cloth robe. "I'll try to remember this thing about _clothing in public."_ And while she didn't do the airquote thing—she probably didn't even know what that was—Jared distinctly heard it in her voice. "I was just too happy to see you, youngster."

"Me too, Gram. Missed you lots."

Gram was the female Alpha of Pad, head of everything. She and Gramps had run the pack until Gramps passed away a few years ago, pushing Dad into the role of male Alpha of Pad. Mom could have fought Gram for the female lead, like they did in the deep, dark past, or Gram could have stepped down—the normal way things went these days. But Mom didn't want to be bothered, and Gram figured it wasn't her time yet to sleep belly-to-the-sun, so…here they were. A little odd maybe, but really not so much. Pads were known for being around-the-den thinkers. 

Jared turned down Dad's offer of a cottage, headed up to his old room instead to drop off his bags. Figured he'd take a quick shower and then jump into a pair of shorts. Join the happy revelers. He glanced out of his bedroom window and took in the colorful groups of tents in the far meadow. Most of the Head Alphas were in the guest houses close to the edge of the woods but their beta retinue was camping out. There were fire rings here and there and—there it was. 

Jared inhaled the salt-spicy smell of good barbeque. Raw meat was fine and good, but nothing beat the PadIasks with their paws on a rack of ribs and some good spices. He watched the kids get in the way of adults who were digging pits for the Jan barbeque. Jans gave the Pads a run for their money when it came to barbeque, but heck, as far as Jared was concerned, BBQ was BBQ and it was all good. Not that he didn't love a good, fresh-caught hare as well. He flicked a guilty look around at no one. 

Fuck it. So what if he preferred hot dogs and hamburgers to raw mice and non-stewed rabbit? Nothing wrong with that, right?

+

One of the things he missed about his room here at his PadAlecki home was his bathroom, his lovely, wonderful bathroom with its amazing shower. Hot water thrummed and pounded into his skin, melting the tension right out of him. He shook his hair out of his face, and leaned against warm tiles. He loved this fucking shower, loved that it was big enough to really fit a guy like him, naked or furred-out. Big enough for a wolf and his green-eyed mate.

Right now, his wonderful shower was occupied by him and sexy, hot-as-hell DreamJensen, wrapped around him like a vine. DreamJensen was breathing inventive filth in Jared's ear. He was rubbing his hard and very pretty dick against Jared's, licking and biting all the spots on Jared's shoulders and neck that got him going, made him into a helpless heap of Wilk. Clever Jensen, to know each and every spot, clever Jensen to know that rubbing his thumb up and over Jared's slit like that made his knees weak. That rubbing the pad of his clever finger against Jared's hole was guaranteed to make his dick stiffen even more and then moaning in his ear, "Oh Jared, come on Jared, harder, more, come on—" 

Jared seized up and groaned, as short, hard spurts of come slid hot and viscous over his knuckles before dropping down to swirl in the water between his wide-spread feet. He gazed blearily at the strands of come slipping down the drain. His eyes dropped shut as his hand wrung out every last bit of pleasure. When Jared could open his eyes again, his shoulders were pressed against the wall, his legs locked at the knees and his hand barely stroking his slowly softening dick.

"Thanks, was it good for you too?" he asked his hand. "Fen'sjaw, I'm gonna have to start buying you dinner if things don't look up soon." Fantasy Jensen smirked before fading into a distant good feeling.

+

Most of the afternoon went like it would at anyone's family gathering—food, fun, music. The old folks sitting together, reminiscing and slinging bullshit, the young ones flirting, maybe making connections for the night—the lucky ones making connections for life. There were cubs all over the place, into everything and announcing it at the top of their lungs—typical kids. Family being family.

But at midnight…when midnight rolled around, the families all neatly disrobed, little piles of clothing heaped on various blankets scattered over the meadow. Here and there were adults who volunteered to stay behind, keep their eyes on the kids piled together in the cub tents. Try as they might, they wouldn't make it to the midnight hour. Jared had done a tour or two on cub watch—it was cute watching them try to stay awake. And there were always a few adults who stayed human just in case—precautions were always taken. 

Chatter died down and was replaced by yelps and growling and excited barking. Gerry PadAlecki shifted, raised his head and let out a howl. His mother joined him—a long rolling note that signaled this year's run was officially on. 

Jared trotted out behind his family, letting the scents of the night fill his head—pine, heated soil, the smell of sage bruised by traveling paws. All thoughts of what he tended to think of as his real life dropped away, concerns lessened, worries became distant and small. He felt content, relaxed. All around him smelled like family, smelled _right._ His dad bumped against him, Mom grabbed his face in tender jaws, shook him gently until he snuffled in a Wilken laugh. Gram barked, and the Pads and Jans and Stases howled—the few deer released a day earlier had been scented and the run was well and truly on. 

Jared kept towards the rear of the pack—he didn't feel a need to be the first at the deer. The run was what he enjoyed, flying over the land, dashing between cousins. They scrambled through the creek bed that cut through their land, sprang over loose rock and mud, flinging water everywhere. Jared's fur was soaked and heavy, his paws slipped on wet stones and mud until he gained purchase and pulled himself up the bank. He barreled ahead into the stands of trees and underbrush. Minutes later, the yelps and howls changed tone—the deer were in sight. Jared sensed the excitement ramp up, and caught the sudden hot-copper scent of blood. His mouth watered immediately and his Wilk mind howled along with the others, his stomach growled…soon, the pack would eat. _He_ would eat—his full Wilken self looked forward with longing to snatching up his own share of the meat, hot with blood. Family and fur buried any feeling of queasiness deep with his human side.


	2. Ya hear him howlin' around your kitchen door....

Something warm touched his face, grew steadily warmer. His eyelids twitched and twitched until they opened. The curtains were slightly open, letting sunshine in. It felt good, the warmth on his face. Like a hand on his cheek. His thoughts immediately went to Jensen, and his good mood deflated somewhat.

That brought him all the way awake and he found himself curled on his bedroom rug, his feet and hands caked with dirt. He had grass stains all over his legs and his forearms. He pulled himself upright, wincing at the slight muscular stiffness. He rubbed carefully at various nips and scratches…they'd heal soon, but they itched like crazy at the moment. Jared scrunched his toes in thankfully thick carpet as he worked his hands across his ribs and down his legs. Scritched and stretched and thought about his apartment and his cold tile floors and threadbare rugs with a woeful sigh. Reminded himself of all the benefits of not living at home in the family compound like Jeff and his fiancé, like June and her mate and their cubs ….

"Okay…okay." Jared ran his hands roughly over his head, little bits of leaves and dust showering out of his hair. He padded across the fluffy rugs to the window and pulled the curtain wide. The full glare of sun on his nude skin felt fantastic—stiff muscles warming and loosening. He looked down into the pool enclosure and all the little cubs in the water waved, shouting, "Cousin Jared, come down."

Their parents cut through the water, waving Jared down also, but too much naked skin made him wince. He wasn't ready to deal with it all yet. He waved back and wandered off to his bathroom. 

It had been a good run, quite a dash through the wilderness. Of the dozen deer released, six had gone down. Jared rubbed his stomach. Apparently he hadn't given in to the wolf willy-nilly. He'd been smart enough not to overeat. He hated waking from a run with a full stomach. It made him logy and grumpy all day. He belched, long and loud, then smacked his lips, trying to work up some moisture and grimaced. The inside of his mouth tasted like a hamster cage…sadly, he knew just what that tasted like. 

 

After a long, lingering shower and some hasty packing, he made his way down to the kitchen. The huge open area was flooded with sunlight; it bounced off the dressed rock that made up one wall of the dining area. The view of the mountains in the distance was beautifully unreal. He set his bag down and sniffed. Fur, meat, marrow, spices…his stomach had the nerve to rumble like a wild beast. The sound of giggling made him swivel towards the kitchen. 

"Oh, hey, I didn't smell you there."

Mom was already up and was wrapping some deer meat, getting ready to put it in a cooler for him. She tried not to laugh when Jared's stomach rumbled again. Jared trotted across the room and swung his mom into his arms. She pushed him back with a laugh, then held him at arms' length. She looked him up and down as her smile slowly faded.

"If only you didn't have to rush off…Jared," his mom sighed. "It hurts my heart that you're no longer happy here with us, dear. And it kills me that you're not happy with your nature. It's just so sad—"

"Mom, that's not it at all! It's just…I have a life. Things to do. People count on me out there."

Mom cupped Jared's face in her hands. Stared into his eyes. Her sweet face was creased in worry, her eyes were shadowed, and Jared felt bad that he'd put those shadows there, but she just didn't understand….

"Jared, sweetheart, someday you're going to have kids, and if they aren't…comfortable with who they are, what they are, well…"

"Mom! I'm not ashamed, I'm _proud_ of what I am. I wouldn't change it, not for anything. I can't even imagine not being Wilk. It's just—I love my life in the city as well. Why can't I be Wilk and…and…human?"

"Because it doesn't matter what we look like or where we live, we are what we are, and that's not human. But I suppose…if you're happy that's all that counts. Just…a mother worries, Jay-Jay. You know human girls can't…it won't work for you. There'll be _problems,_ honey. Some things can't be overcome."

Dad walked into the kitchen as that was coming out of Mom's mouth and he stopped in shock. "Jared's got himself involved with a human? What?"

"No, no, Dad," Jared said, "Well, yeah, yeah there is a human…but you know what? That's not even the point here. Look, this is hard, really hard for me. But—now or never, I guess." 

His parents looked at him, concern in their faces. Jared licked his lips and sent a quick request for help to the Universe. "I'm not, not attracted to girls." 

For a moment, his parents looked relieved, until the light bulbs slowly lit. "You mean…not girls. Not Wilk girls…? You just want human…girls. Right…?"

He could see his mom trying to dance around the truth. Jared said in a tiny, mouse-like voice, "No, Mom, not girls at all."

Dad looked puzzled, like if it wasn't girls, whatever could it be—and then his face simultaneously cleared and darkened. "Boys? _Men?_ What—how?"

Jared stared at him. "How? I don't—that's just—me. How I am."

"I see." There was silence in the kitchen, broken by the click of Gram's nails against the tile as she entered. His dad looked down at her. "Jared was just telling us he's gay, Momma." Gram cocked her head to the side. Dad said, "Homo-sexual. Fenrir's teeth, Daddy would have…um-um-um." Dad shook his head. 

 

Gram turned her head towards Jared, eyes locked on his. Too dark to tell what was on her mind. What could he do? He just nodded. Gram swung around and padded out of the kitchen. 

"I think you upset your grandmother. Your _alpha."_ His dad said stiffly. 

Maybe Dad was right about Gram. Still, she hadn't lunged at him so she might not be too upset. Neither of his parents seemed angry, either. Just…shocked. Deeply disappointed. Fuck.

"Mom, Dad…I hope you…you still…well." He grabbed the cooler and his bag. "You know what, I'm…I'm just going to go."

Neither of them made a move towards him, so he left quickly, trying to avoid his sibs and cousins and anyone else who'd possibly make him feel even worse about this day.

+

A few days after returning to the city he got a phone call.

"Yes?" He heard static-y noise and faint cursing and then an ear blasting, _"Hello? Hello? Jared?"_

"Yes—yes. Gram?" 

_"Jared, is that you? It's Gram."_

"Yeah—yes, it's me, Gram—you don’t have to yell, I can hear you fine."

 _"Are you sure, this thing is so…small. Weird,"_ she muttered. 

"Gram?"

_"Right. Jared. This thing you say you’re feeling about the boys…are you sure you're feeling it?"_

"Totally sure, Gram. I'm—" he wasn't about to apologize for being himself, not to anyone. He just wished…wished that his family felt being himself was good enough.

 _"If you're sure, then there's nothing to be done."_

"I…I guess not." Jared felt a deep, deep wave of sadness. He'd always been afraid of it ending like this, and now that his nightmares had come true, he felt drained and defeated. He waited for his Alpha to continue passing sentence on him.

 _"Hmm."_ She sounded thoughtful. _"Well, if somehow you had to run the pack, it won’t be an insurmountable problem, no. A pack mother would have to be arranged of course, just like for barren wolves…though we both hope it won’t come to that, Jared. I know you don’t want to be Alpha, sweetie-paws. Now, what else did you not tell your parents?"_

Jared's head spun. "You…you don’t…you aren't upset? Alpha?" 

_"Hush, fool. Right now, I'm just your gramma,"_ she snorted. _"Now, I was a little taken aback at first, but then…you have to know you’re my favorite, Jay-Jay."_ In the background he heard an offended _hey!_ from his brother. Gram huffed a little laugh. _"Shut up Jeffy. Anyway, you are, and I was counting on some fat, nosy, adorable little cubs from you and your mate. But all I really want is for you to be happy. That's all we all want, Jay-Jay. Your momma your daddy, Jeffy and Junie, they just want you to be happy. And I guess if what makes you happy is some human boy…Teeth of Fenrir, it is what it is. You nest where you're happy, right?"_

"How do you know that—about the, the human part I mean?" Jared exclaimed. 

"Oh please, you're an open book, boy." Gram chuckled. _Comic book,_ he heard in the background, and then a pained yelp.

"Tell Jeff I said thanks for letting you use the phone—and Gram? Thanks for…for saving my life." 

_"So dramatic, Jay-Jay, so dramatic. We love you, boy. Here,"_ she said, her voice fading a bit as she dropped the phone, _"turn this thing off."_

Jeff was on the line. _"Seriously, little brother. We don't care. Mom and Dad had ideas about your life that…well, didn’t dovetail much with yours at all, but they’re grown-ups and when they remember that, it'll all be slow, fat bunnies, okay?"_

Jared giggled a little at the childish comfort phrase. "Okay, yeah," he said. "Thanks, Jeff." Jared tried to project every bit of love he felt for his big brother into his voice.

 _"What thanks? I love you, kid, we all do,"_ he said, _"You take care, now."_

Jared took a deep breath and felt like he was breathing for the first time since he'd left the home place. It was going to get better, thank Fenrir, it was definitely going to get better. He slumped on the stool and stared at his cold coffee. So, that hurdle had been mostly cleared. It was out in the open at least. Now…Jensen. He was almost certain Jensen might be a little interested. Just…what happened after that?

"Jared!"

Jensen was trotting towards him, beautiful eyes wide and trained on him. Jared could feel his whole self lighting up—and then he remembered that Jensen had sort of brushed him off, and he tightened all over. 

It must have shown, because Jensen blinked, slowed to a walk, and his smile dimmed. Jared ignored the light dying in Jen's eyes. Because, because—damn it, how dare Jensen run up on him like they were best buds or something? Jared wasn't the one who'd shut the door in his face and then dropped off the face of the planet. Well, okay, maybe Jared made himself scarce as well but the Run was important, damn it and Jensen…fuck. Had been working. And more than that, was really more of an acquaintance at this point than a friend to him, and under no obligation to be more than polite. Jared bit back a sigh and let himself smile. At that, Jensen's eyes brightened and Jared felt marginally better. It was always harder for him to hold a grudge than to forgive. He was glad to let it go. 

"Hey, hi, Jared! Where've you been? I mean—well, yeah. Where've you been?"

"Oh," Jared waved his hand, trying for nonchalant. "Home, family stuff. You know." Blushing some as the words left his mouth, a picture of Jensen and him running the woods side by side and how fine that would be flashing through his mind's eye. He felt a brief little flutter of sadness at the impossibility of that….

Jensen immediately looked concerned and Jared rushed to tell him that no, everything was fine—it'd just been a family reunion, kind of a big deal one that he'd had to attend. 

Jensen still looked concerned. He said, "Really? But I thought you went to a family reunion not long ago."

Torn between surprised pleasure that Jensen had remembered an off-the-cuff mention and worry that his lies were tangling in themselves, he stammered, "Oh, ha, no, that was, um, local. This one was like—huge, like shaking the family tree out huge."

Jensen still looked doubtful, but he nodded. "Oh." His expression cleared and now he just looked curious. "I've never been to one, I don't have fam—did you get a t-shirt?"

"A…What now?"

"I see those family reunion t-shirts all the time. Did you get one? I thought that was a thing."

"What?" he repeated, stumbling over the way Jensen treated the idea of a family reunion like it was some fascinating, other-worldly rite he 'd read about in National Geographic. "We, uh, no. We don't—we didn’t do that. But I'll bring it up with Gra—my family next time we get together." Jensen kept staring at him, like there was more to tell but Jared turned Jensen's attention to lunch, and shouldn't they get some? Jensen was on board with that, thankfully, because Jared had eaten the last of the deer that morning and he was just a bit tired of game. 

Jensen tried to bring up the subject of Jared's big, old family reunion again but Jared deftly turned the conversation to work and the antics of the kids and his coworkers. Jensen, it turned out, was as slippery as Jared when it came to talking about his own life. He did manage to find out that Jensen was single. He got the sense that Jensen's relationships were strained, but wasn't clear if he meant with family or friends. Jared wondered if the scents he'd picked up in Jensen's bedroom held some answers, but Jen wasn't saying and Jared couldn't ask…not yet. He did his sneaky little inhale-scent thing and luxuriated in Jensen's smell. This time, the odd meat smell was gone, along with that funny, coppery-bitter undertone. It was just sun-warmed skin and the clean smell of his hair, all soft and limp without that stuff he put in it usually. Jensen smelled natural, real…sexy. 

Jensen lifted his sandwich, a turkey and Swiss club made better by bacon. He took a healthy bite, mayo at the corners of his mouth, and Jared beamed at him. He liked a man with an appetite. Nothing worse than a person who nibbled at a leaf of lettuce like it was just too filling. Had actually gone on a date with someone like that once, worse half-hour of his life. He noticed that Jensen had a scar from what must have been a terrible burn on his wrist. Jensen caught his look and casually eased his sleeve down. 

Jared concentrated on his own sandwich and didn't ask, because that would just be bad manners.

+

Jared's shower that night was epic. DreamJensen outdid himself. He sucked Jared down to the pubes, let Jared grab double handfuls of hair and fuck his face with abandon. Then let Jared pull out and come all over his face, his tongue shooting out and trying to catch what missed his mouth, swiping through the mess that dripped off his chin and cheeks…

"Ho, shit!" Jared yelped, and came all over the shower wall before sagging against the tiles. This was getting ridiculous. He needed to man up and just fucking ask the guy out, for real. Not coffee, not lunch. For a real date this time, with dinner and…and something after. Jensen liked him, he was sure of it. Jen looked at him like there was more he wanted to say, but he wasn't sure how to say it. Jared wrapped his arms around himself and felt his wolf wriggling happily inside him. Okay then, yeah. Tomorrow. Tomorrow would be the start of a something new, something wonderful. 

 

Only, tomorrow turned into the next day, and the next day turned into several days before he saw Jensen again. And when he did….

+

Jared heard Jensen in the hall and stepped out of his apartment. He was grinning as he shut the door, certain that this was just the first move in what was going to be something pretty perfect—and stumbled to a stop.

He must not have been listening very well. Because what he _hadn't_ heard was the guy leaning up against Jensen's apartment door. He had Jensen crowded against it as well, his hand gripping the back of Jensen's neck, bringing Jensen down to his mouth as he whispered in his ear. Jensen was taller than the guy but gave the impression somehow of being smaller. He was almost curled over the guy's shoulder, like he was compressing himself. Making himself submissive to…Jared's nose wrinkled. He didn't like the way that little guy smelled. He smelled like hot metal and old blood. The air around him shivered with barely leashed violence. He was wearing a lot of southwest-style jewelry, all silver and turquoise. From the tip of his silver-toed boots to the top of his pony-tailed head, he was a cowboy-poser jerk. He ran his hands over Jensen's bare arms and Jensen shivered. Jared would have thought it was pure arousal but that smell—that bitter tang to Jensen's scent spiked. Jared couldn't stop himself from whining and at the sound both men started.

Jensen opened his eyes, saw Jared, and quickly dropped his chin, shielding himself. The cowboy-poser-jerk turned his head and caught Jared staring. He dropped Jensen's arms, turned toward Jared with some kind of intent in his eyes. He stiffened, but stopped when Jensen whispered, "Don't. That's…that's my neighbor…."

"Neighbor, hunh?" Cowboy Asshole smirked, looking Jared over from head to toe, lingering here and there in a way that made Jared's wolf lunge against his hold, made his human self feel dirty. Cowboy yanked Jensen closer to him. He kissed along Jensen's neck—all he could reach—dragging his mouth along the flushed skin. It didn't make Jared snarl or frown because suddenly, in a way he never was with humans, Jared was _afraid_ —for Jensen. Those white, flat, human teeth were too close to Jensen's jugular. Cowboy's eyes were still locked on Jared's when he licked a broad stripe up Jen's neck, and all Jensen did was draw tighter into himself. "Open the door, sugar, 'n go inside."

Jensen jerked a tight nod and slipped into his apartment without another look at Jared. The cowboy was the one to close the door on him, and gave Jared a little smile as he did it. The douche-bag had the fuckin' nerve to wink at him as the door slid completely shut. A thick scent of sex wafted towards him, something that he could have cheerfully lived without—so thick and rank and bitter he wasn't sure if it was Jensen or Cowboy, or in what way the scents combined. Jared felt his fingernails pop; they itched as they slide out. The down along his spine rose the way his fur wanted to, and he barely managed to dampen down the growl that wanted to pour out of his throat. 

Fuck it—fuck them. Looked like his _neighbor_ was going to be busy. Jared stomped back to his place and slammed the door, flung his clothes to the floor and shifted. He shook hard, loose fur flying all over. He yanked a pillow off the couch, gripped it between his paws and ripped it to shreds…ten minutes later he was sitting naked on the floor, spitting out polyester batting. Frayed threads clung to his cheek…killing the pillow did not satisfy. All he felt was disappointment so huge and overpowering, it felt like Jensen had taken a sledgehammer and slammed it through his ribs, straight into his heart.

+

Jared was taking the garbage to the disposal area when Cowboy Jerkface crept up on him—smirked like the asshole he was when Jared dropped his garbage and yelped like a kicked puppy. He leaned up against the wall next to Jared and started talking like they actually knew each other, instead of just having eyeballed each other like dueling alphas.

"So, look, I saw you checkin' us out up there in the hallway. I kin tell you weren't looking at me at all. Eyes for Jensen, and I get that. He's a hell of a pretty thing for sure, fuckin' hot, that mouth, 'm I right? But son, let me tell you why Jensen's not such a good idea for a boy like you. Jen is…he's got a boatload a' issues. Boy's kinda fucked up. And he don’t need someone like you messin' him up worse. I know guys like you. Think you're better than anyone else, smarter…Jen don't need those problems. I got him just fine."

"Look, Mr. Whoever-You-Are. I have no idea what you're taking about. I barely know the man. But if I did, I'd tell you that badmouthing him to me is hardly impressive."

"My name's Kane—now you know. You remember that. You stay out of his way and you won't get hurt."

"What? Are you serious?" Jared couldn’t restrain the incredulous laugh. "You gonna beat me up, _Kane?"_ He might have exaggerated the looming a bit but only because he could—the guy was ridiculously tiny next to Jared's six foot four. Still, the little bastard didn't even turn a hair, didn't take a backward step, didn't blink. In fact, he stepped up to Jared, with a grin on his face that made Jared's heart trip in his chest. Knife-edged and nasty like a crazy wolf. Jared refused to step back like he wanted to and Kane laughed. Then he did something that made Jared jump—he grabbed Jared's wrist and squeezed. He seemed to expect some kind of reaction, but all Jared felt was a slightly damp, hot palm and the big chunky bracelet the man wore knocking against his wrist bone. 

Kane blinked, an expression of surprise crossing his face. Then frowned and squeezed harder, the action grinding the bracelet against Jared's skin. 

_"Do_ you mind?" Jared snapped, and yanked his hand out of Kane's grip. "What the hell, dude? Keep your hands off."

Kane dropped his hand and backed up, eyes still fixed on Jared's face. A speculative look narrowed his eyes. "You don't forget what I said, Beanpole." He turned on his boot heel and stomped off down the hall, muscular little arms pumping. Jared watched him go. Shame the guy was such a fucking asshole…in other circumstances, he might actually have been attractive. If Jared went for short, psycho guys, which he really didn't. Not even short guys with mouths made like that…his heart dropped to his knees and the last vestige of outrage blew away like fluff. Maybe Kane wasn't the kind of guy he'd usually go for, but it appeared Jensen was more than okay with him.

Jared managed to keep his shit together until his apartment door closed quietly behind him. He strolled into his bedroom, pushed his shoes off, and then his spine melted, his mouth drew down into an unhappy frown. He slumped across his bed and crept under his blanket, too depressed to change. 

Jensen had a boyfriend who was a huge, huge asshole. The king of assholes. What kind of guy says shit like that to a _stranger?_ Talks about the guy he's dating like he's a…a slut. Fen….

Jared rolled to his stomach and smashed his face into his pillow. What if the guy was abusive? He'd smelled blood in that bed…an old scent, but still. Should he warn Jen that his guy was talking shit about him? Jared shook his head. And why would Jen pay attention to a guy he went to coffee with a couple of times? Bringing someone their mail doesn't make them best friends for life. Jared just had to let it go, Jensen obviously had a type and Jared couldn't be—didn't want to be—it. 

Shit.

+

Jared decided he would deal with the problem of Jensen's asshole boyfriend the intelligent way—by staying in, moping, and eating ice cream. And beef jerky. Together. It didn’t ease his heartache, but it was pretty damn tasty.

Jared snuggled deeper into the couch cushions, gnawing on a strip of Cookies'n'Cream-covered jerky and sort of debating whether he should respond to Roger and Dwayne's invitation—demand—to go out for a couple of hours. He could get up and dressed, or he could sit around in his comfy sweats and watch porn…he could read porn…he could jerk off while watching porn and reading porn—fuck. He needed to get laid, like in the worst possible way. He needed to stop being fucking faithful to someone who barely knew he existed, let alone that he cared, like really, too much. He bit down hard on the jerky and ripped a shred off, gnawing like it had personally offended him. Fenrir…he really had to stop feeling sorry for himself, _really._

A banging at the door brought him to his feet. Jensen? He sniffed—Dwayne. The entire, _"it's the weekend, we're going out, it requires wearing something not school-y, don't embarrass me,"_ conversation he'd had with the guys in the faculty parking lot whipped through his head. Shit, had he said yes to that? And what the fuck time was it? 

He opened the door and barely escaped a fist to the forehead. It was just Dwayne…and Jared was kind of thankful for that. Dwayne tended to be nicer to him.

"There you—what the fuck, dude, you're not dressed."

Jared looked down at himself and gave Dwayne a look. "Clearly, I am."

"Well, you're dressed just fine if you plan to hang around and watch porn and jerk off alone, yeah." 

And then again, Dwayne could be a dick too.

 

"I don’t watch porn," Jared snapped and stood aside, because Dwayne didn't wait for an actual invite to come inside. He stormed past Jared to his bedroom and Jared desperately tried to remember if he left anything incriminating on the bed. "Wait, what the hell, D!" 

Dwayne was staring into the closet; the expression on his face said he was looking at a science experiment gone horribly wrong. "So many fucking t-shirts…" he muttered, starting to rifle through Jared's clothes. "Damn, Jared, don't you have anything but work clothes, sweats, and shorts? You still dress like you're nineteen, you pathetic little weenie."

Jared threw himself on the bed and huffed. "Ass. Do not. I've got—"

Dwayne held up a long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of brand-new jeans, tags still attached. "Here, put these nice jeans on, and this nice t-shirt, and this other kind of nice shirt over it."

"Oh man, not those jeans—they're too tight."

"They look like they'll fit, and chicks will be able to see your ass, not try to guess if you've got one. Wouldn't it be nice to touch a real girl for one instead of the ones in your head?"

Jared was torn. There were two issues here—one, he couldn't even eat a damn cracker in those jeans without wanting to die because they were _too damn tight,_ for shit's sake. And two…he'd never actually told his friends that it wasn't so much he was a monk as he was gay and that's why they never saw him with a girl. Date. Damn, this night was going to suck. 

"You can wear these sneakers, I guess." He snagged something Jared recognized from a hook near the doorframe. "I like this little necklace with the wolf's head, wear that too. Makes you look edgy, well, edgy-ish, anyway. Less school-marmish." 

"Oh man, fuck you a lot. And I can't wear the pendant, _pendant,_ it's just a goofy thing my sister gave me as a joke." _or a reminder of who he was, traditions, blah-blah, blah-blah—June was such an annoying, uptight, alpha stereotype._

"Wear it, Jar-Jar. And change—what, you want me to turn my back, you little girl?"

"Such an asshole," Jared muttered and pulled his sweatpants off. "I should shower…"

"You're fine, Jesus, get dressed. God, you really are like a prissy little girl. You don’t have anything I don't— _whoa!_ God damn boy, get your pants on, you're giving me a complex."

"Stop looking at my dick! And ha-ha, serves you right," Jared smirked. He hopped around the bed, trying to get into the jeans without falling over. "Ugh. They're too tight. Told you."

"They're fine, if I was gay, I'd be all over you like a cheap suit. Damn. You really are built, dude."

"Stop objectifying me, princess," Jared snapped, pleased to be noticed even if it was just his straight friend Dwayne. He pulled on the t-shirt and settled the silly pendant over his neck. He yanked on the shirt, one he'd never worn because it was a remnant of one of Junie's perennial _'let's remake boring old Jared'_ efforts, being too tight, too bright and not Jared at all. Which, when he told Dwayne that, Dwayne said 'yee-es,' like _not Jared at all_ was a good thing. 

"Snap it up; I have someone waiting for me at the club."

"Club? Not bar? I don’t like clubs much. I like bars. Roger always takes up to bars." Jared heard the whine in his voice, but didn't care. Clubs were hot, noisy, and they stank of sex, booze, and too many damn people sweating in one place. And mostly the music was crap. 

"Well, Roger couldn't make it—he hates clubs—"

Yes, Jared thought, which was why he mostly didn't mind going places with Roger, no horrible surprises there.

"—besides, you'll love this one," Dwayne said. "It’s a great place, very nice, very cool. Club White Moon. Very retro."

 

"Club White Moon?" _Could it get worse?_ Jared snorted. "What's that, its werewolf name? Werewolf name—get it?" So Jared laughed about that a little harder than the joke warranted—he got a kick out of the whole stupid 'wolf name' thing. Not like he knew his name. Rogue Moon. Stupid.

"Spare me the deeply lame jokes, will you? My girl—my potential soul mate, mind you—wanted to meet there, no judgment. I needed a wingman in case it goes south so I nominated you." 

He beamed at Jared, which did nothing to warm Jared's heart towards him. Wait until he met this girl…"Wow, can I tell you how moved I am to be included in this epic of truest love, I guess. What time we gotta be at Club Moon-Moon?"

"You know what? Now I don’t even know why I wanna go with you. Give me one reason."

"I'm gay and therefore no competition?"

 _What the fuck, brain?_ Jared cringed inside himself while his wolf ran circles. _'That's right; let your friends know in the way of dropping a bomb on them._ He dropped his chin and turned sideways to Dwayne…shock at his own stupidity triggering Wilk instinct, making him present a smaller target, alpha genes making him eyeball Dwayne into submission—good old human Dwayne who was not the slightest intimidated of course, who was just staring at him with a cartoon look of total shock.

"Wha—hunh? You're what now? Really? That's one hell of a reason, dude…" Dwayne slowly closed his mouth, pursed his lips and eyed Jared speculatively. "Hunh. You don't look gay."

"I don't…look gay? The fuck is that supposed to mean?" 

Jared didn't even get a chance to be outraged, his friend talked right over him, face animated now with an _Ah-Ha_ look. "So, is this why you never date? Because of school? Jared." He shook his head, "Jay, you know they won’t care. The kids are crazy about you. The parents love you. You don't need to hide." Dwayne sat on the edge of the bed, turned to Jared with the same careful slow movements people used for cranky dogs. Jared had to stifle a semi-hysterical giggle. Dwayne said softly "Were you afraid of losing your friends? Don't be, if that's what you're afraid of. I don’t think…you know, I don’t think you get how much we like you, dude. Like, love you and your terrible fashion sense."

Jared squeezed his eyes shut for a long, steadying moment. When he knew there'd be no embarrassing himself, he smiled, "Thanks for that, D. I'm used to hiding it from my family and that just…carried over I guess. I didn't want anything to change and I thought…even if you weren't freaked out, you'd treat me different and I just. I didn't want that."

"Well now you know. We're friends no matter what. If I can go on and on about chicks without you vomiting, you can talk about dick—a little—to me."

Jared punched Dwayne in the arm. "Never gonna happen, and thanks."

"Pfft! Dwayne waved away Jared's thanks with a smile, and Jared laughed. He'd just realized where he'd gotten "pfft" from. "Okay loser, get dressed. No porn and popcorn on the couch for you tonight."

"Dude. Do you have cameras set up here or what?"

Dwayne just laughed and said, "You might want to make your bed, Jared—and put your toys away."

"Oh Fe—God!" Jared covered his face while Dwayne laughed his stupid ass off.

+

The club was an unimpressive, big gray box squatting at the end of the block on a rather sketchy street. The neighborhood was one in transition—middle class was easing back in and trying to shove the poorer, older residents out. Dwayne had claimed the club wasn't well known, but the line of people waiting to get in trailed out across the street. Jared eyed Dwayne sharply. Dwayne shrugged. "Nobody knew it was here a few weeks ago."

 _Great._ Jared huffed; he eyed the mass of humanity warily. He liked humans, but he was never all that comfortable in a big crowd of them determined to have fun at any cost. He liked small, intimate bars better. People knew why they were at a bar. Their expectations were normal-sized. They knew nothing life-changing was going to happen to them, they were just there to get drunk, maybe hook up on a good night. Here, they were surrounded by people who looked a little…crazed. Jared shrugged. What did he know? At heart, he'd always be a simple country wolf. Who, okay, had a family probably richer than most anyone around them and was low-level royalty to boot. Jared sighed. His life was unnecessarily complicated sometimes. 

The inside of the club wasn't any better. It was a disorienting art-deco/steam-punk mash-up. Jared's discomfort shot off the charts—music so loud he felt it in his spine, shifting lights that knocked his wolf for a loop, and the _smell…_ Jared sneezed, several rapid barks in succession, making Dwayne rear away from him like he had the plague. Jared waved and gave him a watery grin. He needed a couple of minutes before his nose settled down again. "Wuh." He rubbed at his stinging nose, assaulted by a miasma of perfume, cologne, and alcohol all overlaid with the stink of desperation and lust. Lovely. 

Dwayne elbowed him and pointed somewhere off to the side of the three-level dance floor.

"She's back there somewhere. Let me see if I can find her," Dwayne practically shouted in his ear, and Jared tried not to wince. 

"Yeah, 'kay."

 

Looking around, he saw what Dwayne had meant by "mixed club". The dance floor was filled with gay and straight couples. The hair on the back of his neck rose a bit…some of those dancers were Wilk. He disregarded the other stinks and concentrated on the scent of family.

Wilk were rare to see in a venue like this, and not just because of the potential sensory discomfort. Most were careful to stay low-key. It was a lot to conceal, a life like theirs. Jared sniffed again, in awe at the number of Wilk—the number of gay cousins (his whole body almost wiggled with the way his wolf's tail was wagging like mad). He was also surprised by how many different _pack_ there were on the floor. Besides Pad, there were Jan, Stas…some weren't even _America World,_ and that almost knocked him off his paws. Damn, he was really going to have to start paying more attention in the Council meets. Things had changed, apparently. There was a lot more movement through the packs than he'd realized.

He watched the dancers for a few minutes before swiveling his way through the crowd. He landed at the bar, hands spread against the glass top and his head hanging down as he concentrated on clearing unimportant scents from his nose, only to have that little exercise shot. A glass of especially tasty-smelling beer appeared before him. The bartender dipped his head before pulling his hand away. "On the house, Pad Gamma-Alpha."

He looked up in shock—eyes and nose coordinating to smack him. He knew this scent well. "Oh, Pedroncelli!" It was one of Nick Pedroncelli's boys…"Greg?" Of course he had to be Pad, and a polite kid as well—he knew how to correctly address Jared. It was cute, and he couldn't help but smile at the boy. Got rewarded with a little pink flush across some remarkably lovely cheekbones…he watched Greg's nostril's flutter and felt simultaneously turned on and guilty. Jen floated through his mind, lips pursed in annoyance…a metaphorical dash of cold water. "Um, thanks. For the drink."

"My pleasure…Gamma." Greg really managed to put a flirty-nasty spin on the word; Jared cringed when his body responded without the permission of his mind. He should probably walk away from the bar. Immediately.

Dwayne suddenly appeared out of the crowd like a guardian angel sent to rescue him, yelled in his ear, "Got us a table… table-ish, table-y thing, sort of—"

"Great! Thanks, woo, sitting sounds good—" Jared blithered, grabbed his beer and bolted from the bar—but not without catching Greg smirking at him from the corner of his eye. Young wolves today…so bold. Jared bit back a little grin. It'd been far too long since anyone showed such obvious interest in him—it was nice. Not who he wanted, but still. Nice.

+

"Dwayne!" A smiling woman waved them over to a tall, spindly legged table in a barely lit corner of the club. Her dark skin glowed under the soft lights, her whiskey colored eyes sparkled. She waved again before inhaling sharply—a sound Jared heard even over the noise of the club. Her hand flew to her mouth before she dropped it and bowed her head—just a quick snap down and up again but Jared saw it. It underscored what he'd already smelled—Dwayne's potential soul mate was Wilk.

They scooted in around the little table, and Dwayne pecked her on the cheek. "Hey, Anna—this is my friend and coworker, Jared—"

"Nice to meet you," Jared leaned close as he took her hand.

She said, "It's nice to meet you, as well. I'm Annella Sancsal." Then whispered, knowing Jared would hear what Dwayne couldn't. "I'm Iak was Stas. But now, I'm the PadUch Regulator. PadAlecki, are you here about the case?"

 _Case?_ "No, I'm just here for my friend. I don't. Well, do we, ah, do we need to speak?" Jared managed to bite down on a frustrated whine. Pack business, crap—he wasn't the alpha for that. This was June or Jeff's kind of thing. He _really_ didn’t want to get involved in any kind of pack business that needed a regulator.

"Oh yes, cousin. We most assuredly do." 

She nodded emphatically and Jared's heart sank. Double crap. And just to put some icing on that crap, the music chose that second to mute and of course Dwayne would hear that. "Wait, you and Annella are…cousins?" he asked doubtfully. "'Cause I gotta say, there's not a huge family resemblance…" 

"No, pffft!" Jared laughed, and wondered if it sounded as fake to them as it did to him. "It's just a thing, a word...thing. We know each other from…" his brain searched frantically for something and then turned traitor on him, let his mouth spit stupidity. "Camp." 

Dwayne and Annella both looked at Jared like he'd lost his mind. She coughed lightly, said, "Yee-es. You know, I'd love it if we talk about…camp. The old days. Somewhere quieter. For just a moment." She stood and fixed Dwayne with a regal look. "PadAlecki and I have some reminiscing to do. We'll be back in a moment. You wait here, Dwayne. Hon."

 

Dwayne just nodded, speechless, mystified. And a little turned on, too, Jared noted. Seems Dwayne liked a take-charge woman. Jared made sure to remember that because no way was he letting that go easy. He smiled at his colleague and got the finger in return. What could Jared do? He manfully resisted laughing in Dwayne's face, but made a surreptitious whip-like motion. 

Outside on the sidewalk, Jared and Annella both drew a deep breath. "Better," she muttered.

Jared nodded and breathed deeper. "Sancsal, eh? You don’t smell Stas—I mean, you do and you don't. More like Pad."

She nodded. "StasIca. Moved from Stas lands a while ago. I liked the Pad lands, liked the weather and the look of it all. Liked their approach to life. So I left—with permission and blessing—a few years ago. I'm a regulator for Uch Pad, looking into an oddity. Someone thought they'd spotted a cousin wrapped up with humans in a way that's totally tangle-pawed…" she shrugged. "It can be a delicate thing, us in their world. We can't take anything for granted." 

She had a look in her eyes that made Jared shiver, on the inside, where hopefully she couldn't tell. Regulators were a sort of Wilk cop, like a cross between police force and samurai. Jared wasn't having the slightest bit of trouble seeing her that way. "No, of course we can't," Jared nodded. "Tell me about this lost one."

"Boys and girls don't usually disappear. They might keep a low profile, but no one leaves the pack completely, not without some serious trouble, and that's practically unheard of. We keep a nose out for everyone. So…we have a lost one sighted, but there's the little problem that no one's reported a cousin missing. Nevertheless, we have evidence that the impossible has occured..." She shook her head, took a card out of her purse. "Alpha Alecki, may I come speak to you tomorrow? I don't feel it's wise to discuss this here."

He slipped the card out of her fingers and into his pocket. "Of course, cousin, tomorrow's a free day for me. We can do dinner, if you like. I'll call you with my address."

"I'd be honored, Pad Gamma-Alpha Alecki."

"Sure, sure…uhm. Can you not alpha me, though? I feel silly, titles and all. Besides, I'm just Gamma, or PadAlecki. In fact, plain ol' Jared is more than fine."

She smiled, and the corners of her eyes crinkled in a way that Jared found incredibly attractive. "I hear your grandmother calls you Jay-Jay." 

"Um, yes, but she's our Alpha so _she_ can call me anything she wants." 

Annella laughed aloud. "So noted, Jared PadAlecki, received loud and clear."

Jared walked her back into the club, and on the way to their table, Jared stumbled. It smelled like…couldn't be. Jensen…but he was out of town. Or on business, or…it was just a whiff and then other smells covered it and he probably imagined it because he wanted Jensen to be there with him. Jared sighed. Smelling imaginary things now, was he? Great. Just great.

+

So here he was on a Saturday, for Fenrir's sake, trying to sleep in, but his brain wouldn't shut up long enough to let that happen. What little Annella had said kept looping in his head. Still, he couldn't imagine it was a real problem—he was almost sure was it nothing. He'd been in the city for a few years now and never heard of any cousin having a serious problem. But it couldn’t be simply ignored, either. Wilk were damned skilled at keeping their tracks light, so even a rumor of dangerous behavior was worrisome. And for some odd reason, he couldn't separate Jensen from his worry. Ridiculous, but it kept him on edge, kept him awake.

Jared finally gave up on sleep and shuffled out of his bedroom into the kitchen. He eyed the kitchen cat-clock wearily, its switching tail and roly-poly eyes keeping the minutes, its cat-tummy telling him it was barely seven o'clock. Opened the fridge and sighed. Great. He had half a pack of salami, three slices of bread, and an empty gallon of milk. Maybe if he got a real breakfast, he'd feel better. But then he'd have to shower and dress and step out into sunlight. He didn't get to lay in all that often—not that his stomach cared. It howled like a wild thing. "Alright, shut up, I'm goin', I'm goin'."

A quick shower didn't do much to settle him. Jared was still blinking and yawning, trapped in that sleep/awake state, when he grabbed his house keys and threw his jacket on. A lump in the pocket hit him in the hip— _right, the book._ Good, it would keep him from fretting while he ate. He grabbed his wallet and headed out in search of food.

 

The call of his gut had led him straight to his favorite café. Jared had worked through a plate of eggs and corned beef hash and pancakes with gusto, and was now having a leisurely coffee while diving deep into his guilty pleasure, the fourth book of a series called _The Pack._ This one was _The Pack's Master._ The last one he'd read had been _The Pack's Mercy._ In fact, each book's title featured the word "Pack" in some meant-to-be clever way. They were mostly rather corny, just smutty potboilers with a goofy premise, but he loved the damn things, rolled in the hysterical weirdness of it all. _Werewolves and humans—in *love*._ He was ninety per cent sure that the writer was a Wilk because, as laughable as the werewolf stuff was, there were some tiny bits of spot on Wilk-like behavior in it, like the way the pack politics read too real to be coincidental. 

There was also this whole weird Alpha/Beta /Omega thing going on, which just meant hot, steamy sex bordering on a sort of semi-bestiality, which normally flipped his wig in a really not-good way, considering he never had sex furred-out. But there was something about the whole… _driven_ to mate thing that pushed some buttons for him— _hard._ Plus the convenient self-lubricating assholes, not to mention the weird dicks he guiltily liked. Yeah, he kind of had a thing for the weird dicks, canine-style knots and all, and the tying up after coming…like enforced cuddling. Glad his dick was just a dick whether he was in the fur or out of it, but the idea…sometimes…Jared coughed over his cup; he could feel the damn tips of his ears burning like fire. This is why a person should never read anything even close to porn in public. He shook his head. Thank Fenrir no one outside a link could read minds. His was a veritable cesspool of perversion.

He sighed and stirred another spoon of sugar in his coffee. Two scents tickled his nose—the stronger one he knew well, the other fainter, was just on the edge of familiar. They wove through the delicious smells of various coffees. Jared smirked as he waited for the owner of cinnamon-chocolate-wine scent to try and sneak up on him, once again. "Give it a rest, least stealthiest of all the stealth that stealthed, ever."

"Shit. How is it you always know…?" Dwayne grabbed an empty chair from the next table and plopped down next to Jared. "Dude, what're ya doing sitting here alone?"

"Dude, what are you doing here at—he glanced at his watch—nine o'clock, "what for you is the ass-crack of the morning?"

"Pfft, I'm a morning person—just not _every_ morning." 

He leaned forward and Jared almost choked in surprise as the faint smell got stronger. Dwayne smelled all over like the  
PadUch regulator. "I'm guessing Annella is a morning person…?"

"Padalecki! No perving on my possible sex life. And yeah, she had some kind of early appointment, so here I am." He stopped to preen a bit. "I think she wants to see me again." His expression read pleased, happy, a little surprised at his good fortune. Jared was happy for him. So what if he was kind of envious, too. 

Dwayne peered off into some imaginary distance. "She's an amazing woman in all kinds of ways—dude." His attention snapped back to present company. "What'na fuck are you reading? Is that that weird werewolf porn shit that's all over the damn place now?"

"No! It's not shit. And it's not porn…mostly."

"Yeah, right. My god, you really need to get laid, boy."

"I wish you weren't the only one wanting to get me laid," Jared groused and threw the book on the table. 

Dwayne swept it up, flipped it over to the front. Read the title and burst out laughing. "Yeah…so, what, you got some one in mind?" He flipped through the book, snickering.

"My neighbor, man. He's just." Jared sighed. "So fucking uninterested in me, and I think he's got a boyfriend. A short, mean little fuck. And give me back my damn book."

"You’re screwed, aren’t you, dude?" he said, not unkindly, lightly slapping Jared's grasping hands away with one hand, eyes on the book in the other hand. "Damn. There's some freakily nasty stuff going on in here. How is this not porn again?"

Jared snatched the book back. "Because she says spending instead of coming, and dicks are all tumescent members. Porn is all gaping—"

 

"Thank you. Gotcha, say no more." Dwayne held his hands out, but his eyes jumped from Jared's face to over his shoulder. "Wow."

Jared turned to look. "Oh god, my neighbor," he whispered. Before he could drop the book Jensen was looking at it, and his expression said that Jared had the most disgusting taste ever. 

"Tell me that's not yours."

"It's not mine," he said, and blushed.

Jensen looked…uncomfortable. "Well." 

"Would you like to, uh, sit and have coffee with us? Dwayne, this is Jensen, my neighbor. Jensen this is Dwayne, a colleague from school—and a good friend. Most of the time," he muttered. 

Dwayne chuckled. "Besties, that's us. I'd love to stay," he said, scraping his chair back from the table, "but I gotta run. I got this…thing."

"Right, right," Jared said. "That thing, right. You…I'll see you tomorrow."

Dwayne winked at Jared and told Jensen it was nice to make his acquaintance and then, grinning widely, asked Jared to give him his book back.

Jared handed it to him with a weak smile, and when Dwayne walked out of the café Jensen said, "He really is a good friend, isn't he?"

Jared let his head thud against the table. Jensen laughed. "Jared…you're a teacher, an educated person. Why are you reading that—that—crap? It's so. Oh my god, so ridiculous. Werewolves." Jensen said werewolf the way Jared's mother said 'cockroach'.

"It's just fantasy, Jensen, a nice little break from the day-to-day realities. Everyone knows that werewolves don’t exist—it's just fun to imagine…and just to dig my testosterone-free grave deeper, I read them for the romantic bits." He threw his hands up. "Go ahead, laugh. I'm a frail little princess, searching for love." He immediately grabbed his cup and gulped luke-warm coffee. Anything to keep his stupid mouth occupied…and totally not imagining another way to do that.

Jensen's expression bordered on fond. "Yeah, caught that the first day I met you. I mean that you were a frail little princess. With remarkably good hearing."

Jared choked a little on his coffee, but refused to ask Jensen if he knew Jared had been stalking him. Instead he asked, "Not to be more nosy than I already am, but was that your…the guy, the one in the hall…Kane."

"Kane? Oh no—Chris got snappy with you? Chris is like…he's someone I've known all my life. At least, it feels like all my life. He helped me when I needed it—still helps me. But it makes him think that he can butt into every aspect of my life, even if I don’t want him to."

A happy little creak escaped him—Jared covered it with a cough. _Yes—single. Maybe._ "So you guys aren't, _together_ -together?"

"No, Jared. Why do you ask?" but Jensen had a little smile on his face when he said it, and that was encouraging to Jared.

"Because. Because I like you, Jensen. And I want to get to know you. I want to be your friend." _and moremoremore_

Jensen stared at Jared for a little and then nodded—his smile grew and those crinkles Jared found so attractive creased the corners of his eyes. "I'd like that too. I don’t really talk to anyone outside of work. I haven't for years. But you came to my door that day with my mail and I just…I wanted to get to know you. You're so, you're interesting, Jared. Nice. I've…I hope you don't mind, but I've been thinking of us as friends already."

Jared felt like he was flying and floating at once. "You have? Wow, that's—" He smiled wider. "That's good to hear. I'm happy about that, Jen. But your buddy the cowboy doesn't like me. Doesn't seem like he wants me around you at all. I don’t know that he'll like you making up your mind to be friends with me," Jared said, totally meaning more than friends in the private little cave of his head.

Jensen shrugged. "He's got to let me grow up sometime, man."

Jared nodded like he agreed, even though it was an odd thing for a grown man to say.


	3. You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out, Jim

Later that afternoon, he called Annella and gave her his address. They planned dinner, something he ordered in because he wasn't taking a chance on his hit-or-miss culinary skills. He might rank her and she'd have to be polite no matter what, but no way was he offering her grilled cheese and canned soup. His mom would _kill_ him.

Dinner with Annella turned out to be an interesting, if slightly formal affair. She wasn't remotely as casual as she'd been at the club, not at all. She _was_ wonderfully polite, just like Jared imagined she'd be—just lifted an eyebrow at his tiny, drab apartment but never voiced the _"Are you kidding?"_ that was lurking in her eyes. Classy. It took him a few minutes and a demand almost amounting to an order—awkward—before she dropped his titles and again called him by his first name without wincing.

He seated her at the kitchen table, his place too small to have any kind of dining room. He'd tried—he'd covered the table with a linen cloth his mom had given him, probably in hopes of civilizing him. He'd set the table with real plates not made of paper, and silverware. He'd even scared up some wineglasses…when he'd pulled Annella's chair out, she'd sat like his tiny kitchen was the best place she could be. Super classy. 

Jared tried to be subtle about checking her out—probably not very successfully. He'd never really spent any time with a Regulator who wasn't Alecki before. Or any regulator all, really. They answered to his dad. Whatever else they did, Jared never questioned, never needed to. But now here he was, having dinner with a regulator commander, who was unfolding a crazy story about some kidnapped, unknown, unregistered Wilk and horrific, sadistic, sex games right here in his own city…some crazy thing that no one had ever heard of before. 

"Jared, we normally wouldn't stick a claw in—whatever humans get up to is their concern, not ours. Frankly, we don’t care. But when it involves our own, we need to look into it, and if it calls for it, regulate the situation." She took a dainty nibble of the seared tuna he'd ordered for her. Jared was mesmerized, fascinated by this soft-spoken woman who was also the ruthless wolf he knew regulators could be. If someone had to die for Wilk reasons, she'd make it happen, no questions asked. Jared managed to suppress a little shudder but suddenly he wasn't quite as hungry as he'd been. Substituting beer didn't help once they'd finished dinner and he opened the first of the two folders she'd brought with her.

'It started out with some of us catching scent of odd goings on at the private club undereath the public one. No big deal, private clubs are not our concern. Sex trafficking is disgusting, but again, human concerns. Humans are very inventive where sex is concerned." Her face said something completely at odds with her mild words. 

Jared took the pictures from the first folder and spread them across the table. "What…what is this?" 

The picture showed an ugly room, no windows, concrete block walls…none of that really registered. The focus of the picture was a naked human bent over a…Jared wasn't sure what it was. A heap of limbs, naked skin, and patchy fur. "Is it a dog?" The crouching animal was wrapped in chains, lots of bright, shiny chains. "I know they do that sometimes…" he shook his head. They could really be strange about sex, humans. 

Annella's lip curled, sharp, white teeth gleamed in a bitter half-smile, her nails popping little pinpricks in the tablecloth. "Er, sorry, Gamma. It's—no, not a dog. I know these photos aren't the best, but it's a boy in transition sickness. Though the victim looks older than is normal to experience transick."

Jared blinked and saw that yes, the shape was rather bigger than most dogs…and now he saw the arms, the legs that made it impossible for the shape to be canine or human. 

She went on, "What that means is that these particular humans have solid knowledge about us. Someone's been stupid," she snarled. "One of my own, to be precise, was involved in this…vicious game of theirs."

"Well," Jared started; coughed when his voice broke…the pictures were horribly disturbing. "This is twisted, really bone-in-throat twisted, but. Humans do find out. We know Human/Wilk isn’t totally rare, after all. And some Wilk might…prefer humans." Miraculously, he didn't flush like a heat-sign addled twelve year-old. "Not that this looks in the least bit voluntary."

"Even if it was, we all know there's no way to interrupt a shift and you can't create transickness. I can't imagine what they did to trap this Wilk between like this—such a thing is just. Not. Possible. You know, the danger here isn't the knowledge of us getting out. It's what these pictures say they seem able to do, some kind of…of… _alchemy."_

Jared snorted. _Right. Because *magic* was possible…._

She growled softly, shaking her head as she did. "The informant was a member of the club— _and_ one of my regulators. _Was_ one of my regulators. He claimed the young man wasn't Wilk. Said he didn't smell like any pack he knew, or feel like pack. In fact, he was persistent in insisting that young man _wasn't_ pack, and therefore he'd done no wrong and should be exempt from judgment." She huffed, and even from across the table Jared could feel her disgust. 

"He said that despite…touching…the man, he couldn't feel even a whisper of a link with him, and that was proof he wasn't Wilk, but it's highly likely that the young man was brain-damaged. Possibly injured from being…" Her voice faded into silence. Her grimace told Jared more than he wanted to know. 

"Abused," Jared murmured. Worse and worse. Being trapped, assaulted, and as if that wasn't enough, not even able to communicate…he shuddered. "This regulator…was he excused?"

"No. Of course this boy is pack. What else could he be? My regulator failed in his sworn duty to protect the pack. He was allowed to bring us this information in return for his separation from the pack being quick and…as painless as possible. We'd never even have known, but for a couple of wolves looking for a place to mingle, who smelled something was up and did the right thing by alerting us."

She scowled angrily and Jared made a mental note not to ask what happened to the ex-regulator. By the sound of further ripping of his tablecloth, the separation between that regulator and his pack hadn't been as civilized as she made it sound.

"We need to root out this group and destroy them. This can't be a risk to us. I would have come to you soon enough with this information, Pad Gamma-Alpha Alecki, out of respect, because this region is Alecki and we're stepping over your lines."

Jared nodded. "I'll also bring this matter to Gram and Dad—erf, I mean the PadAlecki Alphas…I'm seriously out of practice. The PadAlecki Alphas appreciate the courtesy, Stas Annella."

He sighed when Annella slid the last folder across the table to him. Jared forced himself to look through more frightening pictures. "It's just so weird that the kid doesn't ever seem to shift past this stage here," Jared said. "Even in transick, it eventually happens."

"I don't know…the pictures you saw before were taken for…not for information, actually. They concentrate on just that…that one thing. The pictures in this folder were taken to illustrate his shift—or attempt to shift. You can tell they’ve drugged the young man to keep him pliant." She shuffled through the few photographs before snagging the one she wanted. "Here, you can see what I mean."

Jared took the picture from her. He stared at it, tilting it this way and that, waiting for it to make more sense, but no matter the angle, it didn't change.

It was plain to see that the half-shifted wolf-human was Jensen. 

Jared was mildly surprised at how calm he was. Here he was, strangely experiencing no reaction at all to seeing his beautiful neighbor with his body distorted, pulled out of shape until it was something horrific, neither human nor wolf. He couldn't comprehend that this was the love of his life, this creature pinned down like a lamb for the slaughter. Trapped, chained, assaulted and…and raped. There was obviously no question of consent—Jared could tell that Jensen hadn’t been able to hold his head up, let alone stand on his own. 

The next picture in the set showed a slightly more transitioned Jensen, fur a little thicker, sporting snout and teeth and pointed ears. His arms were out-stretched, claws extended from still human-looking hands; he looked like he was trying to dig his way into the concrete under him. Worse, he was bound up in some sort of bridle, reins, muzzle kind of thing that kept Jensen's head immobile. It was obvious that it hurt Jensen from the way his lips were curled, blood darkening the fur on his face. And the man gripping the muzzle thing, pulling Jen's head up…he recognized that man, too. Kane. An expression Jared could barely describe as a smile creased his face.

 _Jensen…_ Jensen's eyes, even more impossibly green than they were when Jensen was human…they were beautiful, even clouded with fear and hopelessness…they stared into Jared's soul. They called to him.

Jared carefully laid the pictures down. Calmly said, "I know that man. He lives down the hall from me. But…he's not Wilk. I mean, he's no pack I've ever scented before." 

 

"PadAlecki, you must be confused. He has to be a member of some pack…unless what they've done has marred his scent. And if he lives a normal life as well as being this, this, _thing…_ then maybe he's not as much a victim as we're thinking." Her eyes went hard. "We still go after him, regardless if he chooses to be this or not."

 _Choose to be this…could Jensen have chosen this?_ A hot wave of nausea bulldozed him; he swayed in his chair before standing abruptly. "Excuse me."

Annella nodded, brown eyes sympathetic but puzzled.

Some distant, unconnected bit of Jared was vaguely pleased he made it to the bathroom and got his face over the toilet before letting go. Everything he'd eaten in the last—twenty years, felt like—came up again. 

_Jensen._ Just…what the fuck? Why would he let such a thing happen to him? _How?_ Did he want it—what looked like coercion sometimes wasn't, Jared knew that, but this. This thing was—they were fucking him. And he was mostly not even _human_ in those pictures and they were....

Jared threw up again and again, until his throat was raw and he heard Annella tapping on the door, soft voice questioning, "Gamma? Gamma Alecki, are you okay? Is there anyone I can call?"

"I'm—I'm okay. I'll be out, just give me a minute."

He wasn't okay; he really, really wasn't okay. Something was terribly wrong with Jen, and he had no idea what to do about it, how to help. Plainly, Jensen wasn't Wilk. He couldn't be. The evidence of his nose told him that, his body told him Jensen wasn't Wilk. But…there was something about Jen. Jared absolutely felt a connection of some kind to him. This thing—if Jensen was some form of wolf, it almost made sense, the way he felt so strongly about the man after so little time. Almost.

Jensen wasn't Wilk, but he was wolf. Wolf…changing, turning, fur growing, Jen turning into something unbelievable, something…"Holy. Fuck. Holy— _FUCK."_

"Oh Fen, no, no. That's not even…that's not possible. " He fell back against the bathroom wall and ground the heels of his hands into his eyes until red explosions bloomed. Imagined what it must be like for the humans who find out that Wilks exist, who have their entire idea of what was true and what wasn't tipped on its head. Figured it must be as horrible as what he was going through now. He mentally apologized to all decent humans everywhere. Because as crazy as it seemed there was only one possibility left. And that was, werewolves were real. 

No one had to tell him how crazy that was, but fuck, his nose had been _trying_ to tell him for months. Fucking _werewolves_ were fucking real.

Fenrir's bloody jaws. If he wasn't actually fucking nuts, and Jensen really was some fucking creature out of a cub's campfire story, than how the fuck did they deal with this? 

He grabbed a paper cup from the dispenser on the sink, crushed a couple before his shaking hands cooperated with him. Rinsed the taste of sick from his mouth and scrubbed his face, trying to make it a little less obvious, that along with the puking, he'd been in the bathroom crying like a little girl. 

He took a few deep breaths and steadied himself against the sink. He was pretty sure about one thing, at least. If he let the PadUch regulator take Jensen, they'd figure it out what he was—and he knew in that case, he'd never see Jensen again. No pack was going to let him go…and leaving it to the regulators, who put pack safety above all else...who's to say they might not decide Jensen was a danger to pack in some way?

"Okay, plan, come up with some kinda plan…" He needed help. What he needed was his family. No one outside of Alecki could know what Jared thought was going on with Jensen…because without his family on board, he had no chance of protecting Jen.

+

The trip back home flew by—he had Jensen on his mind this time, plus worry about explaining to his family, worry about getting help.

Jared headed for the public space of the ranch home, past the library and Gram's office, past Mom's office and into the grand meeting room. He slid through the double doors, sat quietly down at the rear of the room. Dad and Gram were at the long table up at the head of the room. Files were spread over the table top, in order of importance. June sat at Dad's side, furiously scribbling, Mom stood behind Gram. Jeff sat at the end of the table, his expression set in _"thoughtful and considering."_ He was probably thinking about soccer. 

"—and the resort ranch out there on the west side, Rolling Rocks, reports some wolf predation. Thanks, Bart, for bringing this to our attention."

Gram nodded. "I did look that report over, but what's here is not outside what we'd factored in as soon as we got word the OneEye pack was drifting close to our boundaries."

"Yes, Alpha Sophia." Bart Pahucki, Rolling Rock's ranch foreman, stood and bobbed his head in respect. "We're seeing that it's one wolf out of that pack. Can't tell whether the juveniles are trying to move in or if OneEye wants to expand her territory—"

"Nope. They can't cross our lines. I get it if the cattle wander over but. No. we have to step up Pee Patrol," Gram said, and Jared thought it was a credit to his gram's strength that no one giggled. Except for Jeff, faintly, when he caught Jared's eye. _Pfft. Pee._ Jared fought the grin off his face. 

The envelope in his hand rustled and the grin died. It reminded him just what his business was today. Dad was saying, "—Bart, maybe we should just kill the wolf and be done."

Bart nodded and sat. Gram shrugged. "We'll see. So, if business is done…" everyone shifted on their chairs, their expressions all saying, _please Fen' no one say a word._ There was a barely audible, general sigh of annoyance when Jared stood and coughed lightly. "Alpha Gerald, Alpha Sophia, I'd like to speak to you. Privately." He ignored the quiet ripple of relief that spread through the cousins.

"Well, 'course, son, we're about to have lunch up on the patio—"

"No, sir, Alecki business, sir."

Jeff turned a surprised eyebrow on Jared and jerked his head. Jared nodded; sure, Jeff deserved to hear it too. 

Gram dismissed the pack and gestured, they followed her into the inner office.

"Okay, Sweetie-paws, what's up?"

"Gram." Jared frowned. "Last night, I was visited by the PadUch regulator, Annella Sancsal." He spoke over their questions. "She was mannered, asked for an audience with the Alecki Gamma-Alpha and gave me these pictures. Here." He pulled the pictures out and spread them across the table. They each grabbed one. Jared watched them as they looked and saw the minute they caught on. Confusion, then horror flooded each face.

"That's not transick. What the hell am I looking at?" Dad asked.

Jeff dropped the photo he held. "Is this a whataya-callit? A photomanip? Or a still from a movie? Not very funny, Jared." He sounded bewildered and angry.

Gram was silent, staring at the photo. She grabbed them all up and fanned them across the table, her tiny hands spreading them wide. She sniffed, backed away from the table and shifted, the dress she forget she was wearing split down the back. _Jared, whose boy is this? What's happening to him?_ her upset was so extreme, even without being furred, they heard her through the link. Her muzzle crinkled and showed all her teeth, from fangs to molars. She scraped her tongue repeatedly against her front teeth, horror in every aspect of her stance. She forced the Wilk back, stalked back and forth across the room, her little feet slapping against the terra cotta tiles. "This is not possible—this creature—this can't be."

 

Dad snapped, "Of course it's not. What game are you playing, Jared Tristan?"

 

Jared whispered, "That's…that's the human, the one I lo—like. Jensen Ackles. Turns out, he's not quite human after all. He's…some kind of wolf, too I think."

 

"A wolf? Hell no it ain't," Dad snapped, "That's not a Wilk. That's not…well, it just can't be real." He shook a little, forcing himself to keep from involuntarily shifting the way his mother had. "I don’t understand that. And these other pictures, they're just filthy…if this is for real, how could you even bring yourself to be with a creature like that?"

 

"Oh my…fuck it all, Dad! Do you think that's voluntary, what's happening here?" Jared swept the pictures off the table. "It’s rape—it's coercion, fuck, in half these things he's not even there! He's drugged up or chained, or…or…" Jared stopped as he remembered Jensen's attitude when talking about Kane. Gasped out, "Or thinking he has to do this."

 

"What?"

 

"This guy." His finger speared the image of Chris helping Jensen out of an empty cell. "He's Jen's…his friend, so Jen thinks. But he's the head of this thing. The information they have…makes it plain that this guy has got to be calling the shots. Look how he has him, leashed and all, he's Jensen's handler, that's what."

 

"Where in name of Fenrir would this…handler guy get an idea like this? This is terrible. Your friend looks…" Jeff shuddered. "And he changes into a wolf? Like a Wilk?" Jeff asked.

 

Jared nods. "I don't think he changes into a wolf. I think this is as far as it goes. Like…Lon Chaney? Like that movie, that one with the freaky looking half-dog things—"

 

"Underworld, Lycan or something, piece of crap movie?" Jeff helpfully provided. 

 

"Right. Yes. The Uch regulators were looking at it as a form of transition sickness, but I think this is his natural form." 

 

Jeff startled him by snorting loudly. "Nothing natural about that shit."

 

"Jeffy—hush. So." Gram stood, crossed her arms over her chest and growled, "Jared Tristian Alecki Pad Gamma. Fenrir's blood, are you trying to tell us that the boy is a damn _WEREWOLF?"_ She looked so incredulous, her eyebrows perched high on her forehead. Jared stared at her, his mouth bobbled….

 

"But…but…Gram! We shift! We turn into wolves!"

 

"Well, that's…that's biology. He's…that's some kind of… _supernatural_ thing. It's not possible. It's not normal!"

 

The office was silent for a moment—and then Jeff said, "Well if it’s not normal, it's not his fault, right? Don't the stories go like that?" 

 

Jared stared at Jeff. Since when was his big brother the voice of reason? "How did it happen?" Jeff asked.

 

"How should I know? I guess…well, I imagine he must have been…bitten by a werewolf." Jared felt a ridiculous flash of embarrassment, quickly overcome with horror at himself and sadness for a poor confused kid who never had a chance at normal. 

 

"Does he know—?" Gram poked one of the photos—it shot off the table and fluttered to the floor.

 

Jared shrugged. "I think…yes. Maybe. Things he said when he talked about his friend, Kane. Plus he has this air about him like he's carrying a weight, something bad. It makes him sad, Gram." He jerked his chin towards the pictures.

 

Jeff shook his head. He looked up at Jared. "Werewolves. Does that mean…vampires are real, too? And Bigfoot?"

 

"What the fuck, Jeff, I don’t know!"

 

"A werewolf. What in the world. Well, you bring him here, Jared. You take care of this problem and bring the boy here to us. We'll look into it, take care of him—" she tsked and waved Jared's shocked protest off, "—like a cub, you fool. If he needs it." She picked one of the pictures up again, turning it this way and that. "You know, he almost looks like one, a cub I mean…it's in the eyes," she said and Jared's heart warmed. Gram understood, he should have know, out of everyone, Gram would get it.

 

"Kane has him locked up, Gram. Literally and figuratively. No way he's going to let Jensen go. And no way is he going to keep his mouth shut about us. He's a bad trick."

 

His grandmother looked towards his dad. Dad frowned—scowled really; face like thunder—but he nodded and Gram turned back to Jared. "I'm not talking about bringing that Kane cowpat here. He can't know about us. But we can't leave a cousin like that—even if he's a distant one. Even if he isn't one, he's some type of wolf. We need to hunt that problem to the conclusion."

 

They all muttered agreement and took a moment to regroup. Jared's dad sighed like his lungs were being pressed closed by a weight unimaginably heavy. "I want to speak to the PadUch regulator. I want to make it clear that this problem needs to be hunted down, let her know she has our official permission to track where she wants. I also want to make it plain to her that since she's on PadAlecki lands, she tracks with our regulators."

 

Gram growled softly in agreement. "Our regulators will have some special orders she needn't be privy to. I'll let her know once the Jenensen is in our hands, he's _our concern_ only." 

 

"Ah, it's _Jensen,_ Gram, just, y'know, Jensen."

 

"What—Jay-Jay, _why_ are you standing here nit-picking instead of howling up my orders?"

 

Jared leaped up and hustled towards the door. "I'm on it, Alpha," he called over his shoulder.

 

Jeff followed Jared out to his car. "Do you want me to go with, little brother?"

 

"Nah, thanks, Jeff. I can handle this. I'll keep in touch, though."

Jeff looked at Jared in a way he never had before. He looked fond, and that was familiar, exasperated and a little amused, that was a look Jared knew well. What was different—incredibly different—was that Jeff looked proud as well. Jared was surprised. What had he done to rate a look like that? 

"Jared, dude…this is something else you're undertaking here. It's kind of a big deal. Planning how to get this guy out…and you know the minute you step out with those guys, you're in charge. You're the _Alpha,_ man."

"Oo-kaay," Jared drawled, wondering if there was a point to Jeff's babbling. He flinched just a little bit when Jeff's hand landed on his shoulder—couldn't help it, not after years of noogies delivered with those huge, solid hands.

"Little brother, you may never have to be alpha of the pack, but I'm relieved to know that if you had to, you'd step right up. And just so you know, Gram's not the only one to think you'd be a great one, Jared. I think so too."

Jared blushed. It felt good to have Jeff tell him that. Not that he needed to have his brother rub his ears, but it felt damn good.

Right up until Jeff pounced on him, cramming Jared's head under his armpit and scrubbing knuckles through Jared's hair. He let go and jumped away from Jared, laughing when he cursed and swung wildly at him. "Go on, Jay—collect your pack, boy. Go and get your mate."

"Jensen—Jensen's not my mate, dude—"

"Tchah. Bring him home so Mom and Gram can fuss over him. Shit, this guy doesn't even know, he's gonna be belly-rubbed and fussed over within an inch of his life—" 

Jared punched him in the arm. "Hey, he's not a cub and neither am I."

"Oh, I know…that's why I said _mate,_ instead of buddy." He winked. 

"Oh, Fen—I'm leaving now, leaving embarrassing brothers behind me," Jared yelled as he sprinted towards his car, grinning all the way.

+

Jared stood outside of Jensen's apartment, gathering his strength. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Jensen opened it with a smile, but frowned at the expression on Jared's face. "Hey, Jared…come in?"

Jared stepped in and sure enough, the smell that was Jensen and something else was stronger, something Jared realized he'd been scenting whenever it came close to the full moon without realizing it. "I need to speak to you, Jensen."

"Sure? Sit down? I can get you a beer or something—" he started to turn, but Jared stopped him. 

Jared shook his head, and Jensen noticed the mailing envelope in his hand. "Oh. Did our mail get crossed again?"

Jared shook his head; he slowly pulled the least explicit picture from the envelope, and reluctantly held it out to Jensen. "What can you tell me about this?" 

"What's that?" Jensen asked, his forehead wrinkled in puzzlement. He leaned over the photo in Jared's hand and his face went a chalky-white. "It's—it's ah—it's a screencap of some horror movie…are you…you…."

 

"No. No, it's not." Jared shook his head. "You know about this. You let it happen. You know what's going on in this—this-- _Jensen._ " 

Jared felt like he was calling to Jensen across a canyon, like Jensen was flying away from him. Jensen backed quickly away but Jared followed, the pictures shaking in his hand. "It is you, isn't it, in different stages of your change…and _Kane,_ this son of a bitch standing over you, buckling you into this…this fucking thing—" Jared flung a picture at Jensen, one of him with his mouth gaping around a metal bar, leather straps wrapped and buckled around his wolfish head. "I know it's you. I know these are real."  
"Okay. Yes. Fine—now you know what I really am. A goddamn freak, a monster." Jensen grabbed the picture up and crumbled it in a tight grip against his chest. His head was shaking, shaking, "But—you don't get what's happening, you can't understand it. It's not what you think, Jared. I _have_ to. I _owe_ Chris. Fuck I owe him _everything."_

"Owe him what? What the fuck, Jensen! How do you owe Kane anything like this? This is rape, _torture…_ this is…for Fenrir's blood, you don't owe him anything like _this,_ no matter what he did for you. Let me show you, Jen. Let me take you away from that horrible pit. I have family, they can help…I'll keep you safe, I promise." 

Jensen's eyes went wide, he raised a hand to his throat, wiped it across his mouth. Nodded.

Jared let go a small sigh of relief. Jensen was hearing him, Fen'sjaw, he was listening…Jared started to smile, to reach out for him, but Jensen backed up, out of reach. 

Distress leached out of Jensen's face, leaving it blank as a china doll's, and then, an ugly mix of emotions rippled across it. A cold, sneer settled on his features, twisted his mouth and that expression shot through Jared like a kick to the chest.

Jensen stopped moving when the back of his legs hit a desk. All the tension in his body seemed to melt away; he leaned back against the desk with his legs spread in lazy, open sprawl. His hips tilted up suggestively, an invitation that in any other circumstances would have had Jared vibrating in anticipation. But at this moment, Jensen's knife sharp smile, his pose, just broke Jared's heart—smashed it to bits and all the pain he felt was for Jensen.

"Oh, I see." Jensen smirked, licked his lips. Not so much sexy, Jared thought, as nervous—frightened even—and trying to cover it. "So, Jared, is this where you take your shot now? Come on, do it—I won't fight you. I never fight it. Or wait; do you want the full experience? A few more days, Jared, that's all. Then all your fantasies become real—or you can do this—"

 

Jensen reached over the desk, yanked open a drawer. He threw Jared a pair of shiny handcuffs. Jared smelled the bitter, acidic smell that he'd been smelling all this time—stronger. Biting. There was a smell of singed meat as well…Jensen's fingers were red, a small blister was already puffing up on the tip of one. 

"What is this, Jensen?"

"Silver; don’t act like you don't know."

"Silver, oh my Fen—all at those chains, the way you were striped all over with burns—"

"Lots of clients like that, that it burns me. Makes me weak. They use the cuffs, or the cat with silver tips or…the chains, always the chains. And the muzzle…Come on, Jared. Silver still hurts, not as much as when I've changed but." His hand went up to a couple of angry red bumps Jared could just see peeking out of the collar of Jensen's on his chest…more burns? Jared growled. They looked like brands. Kane, trying to mark Jared's boy? Fucker…."

"Silver burns all the time, Jared," Jensen muttered, rubbing the brands. "Burns all the time…."

"I don't understand. How are you—"

 

"This thing? Sixteen, Jared—I was living on the street, doing whatever I could to survive that didn't involve selling my ass. Laid down to sleep under the street one night, in one of those big sewer drain openings. I woke up with an animal trying to rip my throat out—so I thought. It bit me, it chewed right into my shoulder, ripped right into the muscle and I'd have bled out if it wasn't for Chris. I thought, for once in my life, something had gone in my favor. Until..." 

Jensen stopped, drew a deep shaky breath. Jared tried to get close to him but he backed away, hands out, shaking his head, "No, let me get this out, Jared. Until the full moon came and I changed. And suddenly all the myths and stories and tales about werewolves became research and guidelines." Jensen shrugged, gave Jared a smile that went all sideways and wobbly. 

"So, Chris patched me up. Treated me with what he said were herbal teas, some shit he learned from his grandma—god, it tasted like ass, but it kept me going." He looked up at Jared, tried to laugh but it faded, and he went on, his voice going lower and lower as he talked. "I'd lost a lot of blood, y'know? Anyway, he did that, and kept me from killing myself. More importantly, he kept me from killing anyone else."

"You wouldn't, your heart is too good, you _couldn't,"_ Jared insisted.

Jensen went on as if Jared hadn't spoken. "The first time it happened…it didn't seem that bad, you know? The change didn't hurt so very much the first time; I could still feel bits of me, even though…" Jensen looked puzzled, lost in memories…he blinked, and focused again on Jared. Jared tried to smile, encouraging Jensen to go on. He did. 

"You have to understand, Jared, Chris kept me safe, kept me from being more of a monster than I already am. Showed me how to contain it. This thing I do for him—tell me how that's worse than killing someone?

And you're wrong about my 'heart being too good'. Chris showed me—he showed me the mangled body of some street kid _I_ killed. I tore him apart like…like paper. _Chris_ saved me from being that kind of monster ever again. And then he explained how when I was in that state, there were ways to keep me from killing again, along with the herbs, the silver..." he jerked his chin towards the pictures . Shrugged. "Chris explained there was one other, best way to keep the monster in check—sex, violence. Turns out it's a good substitute for blood-lust. I…mostly don’t remember when it happens. And it helps Chris. I don’t much mind."

"He's fucking prostituting you, Jensen!"

"Don't be stupid, Jared. It's nothing compared to...it's just a way to pay the bills. I heal. Chris takes care of me, I told you. He…he loves me. I mean, you know, he cares about me."

Jared dropped the cuffs and rubbed his hand against his pants leg. He felt slimy just touching them. He couldn't deal with what they represented, couldn't stand that Jensen had them in his _apartment._ Fuck, he couldn't deal with Jensen, just standing there, like his life was fine and what was happening to him meant…nothing. Fen! 

Jared's eyes were burning; his throat ached from trying to hold back tears, fuck that, hold back— _screams._ He tried to take a calming breath, but he shocked himself with the force of the sob that broke through his hold…he blinked and hot tears ran over, streaked down his cheeks.

"Jared, no, no, don't. I swear, I'm not worth you tearing yourself up like this. Fucking face it, I'm a thing, I'm a monster. Best thing for you to do is run, far as you can get. Because if I hurt you…if I hurt you, Jared, I don’t know what I'd do."

At Jensen's words, another hot, deep sob shook Jared, made his chest feel like it was full of rocks. And he kept fucking crying, he just couldn't stop. "It's not supposed to be like that, Jensen. It's not supposed to be like that." His head dropped and he gave into the pain he felt for Jensen. His beautiful Jensen, so lost and alone….

 

Jensen hesitated—slowly reached out to pull Jared close. "Jared, don't, please don't."

Jared wrapped himself around Jensen and tried to stop sobbing, but it hurt so much. To be trapped like that, never know how good it was to be touched by someone who cared. He threw his arms around Jensen and took deep, shaky breaths. "I'm sorry, he mumbled into Jen's shoulder. "But you're not a monster, Jen. You're just—different."

 

Jensen stroked his neck, drew his fingers slowly through Jared's hair, petting him. He laughed softly, bitterly. "Different is putting it mildly. You have no idea, Jared. Please don't cry—hell, not for me, I'm fine." He kissed Jared's forehead, pressed kisses on his cheek. 

Jared whimpered and reached out for Jensen. "I want to be with you, I want to take care of you…"

"Yeah," Jensen sighed. "I wish you could take care of me, too."

"I could, my family could. We're probably the only ones who can, Jensen. We're not the same, you and I, but we're not entirely different. We call ourselves the Wilk and…well, this is what we Wilk are." He pulled gently out of Jensen's arms and Jensen wrapped his arms around himself, as if the loss of Jared made him cold. He was shaking, minute little tremors that Jared could barely see. He smiled at Jensen. 

"Look." He yanked his t-shirt up over his head and dropped it—shaking his hair out of his face, giving Jen a tiny smile. He toed off his shoes and socks, unbuttoned his jeans and shoved them down, snagging his boxers too. He heard Jensen's breathing hitch and speed up, not in a good way. He looked up at Jensen, who looked like he was one short step from freaking out completely. Because, yes, he had a totally nude man in his living room…understandable. 

"J-Jared. I thought you said you didn’t want…"

 

"Oh, no, Jen, no—it's okay. I'm just gonna…" Jared took a deep breath, hoped for the best, and shook the fur out. The first thing he registered was Jensen's scent going off the charts, fear mostly. His breathing rate shot up as well, his chest was working like a bellows. Jared tried sending him calming thoughts, but it was like hitting a brick wall. It wasn't at all like trying to link to a human; instead of a fuzzy dead spot in his head, he was slamming against concrete block. He whined, crouched to the floor and froze there—with any luck, Jensen would come to him. 

Slowly, slowly Jensen's heartbeat slowed, his breathing calmed the longer Jared stayed in that one spot. Taking a chance at moving, he carefully wagged the tip of his tail. The result shocked Jared—it was not what he was hoping for. 

Jensen's voice was cracking with horror, fear, and such…such sorrow. He was terrified for _Jared…_ "Jared, oh my god. You were bitten too…oh my god, you should have told me. We could have, Chris could have…"

Hearing that fucker's name set Jared off—he couldn't bite down the deep, rumbling growl that rolled out of him. Jensen didn't flinch back, though, he reached out to Jared, "Oh, god, no—not that, not like me, I wouldn't let that happen to you. You don’t deserve my life…you're a good person."

 _Damn it Jensen…fucking with my heart like this…_ Jared crawled slowly towards him; the tip of his tail sweeping back and forth, his huge ears laid back as he tried to channel as much of his inner pup as possible. Oh yes, he had full knowledge how deadly his eyes could be—Gram and Mom and Jeff complained about the puppy eyes endlessly, but gave in all the same. He whined, and blinked, and wiggled at Jensen mercilessly. Prayed for Fenrir's blessing, hoped like hell that Jensen would fall victim to the puppy face as well. 

 

"Jared, that's… _that's_ what you are? Because, you don’t look anything like me. You're. God, you're beautiful; you have the most amazing eyes…" Jensen wobbled, dropped to a sprawling seat on the floor. "…oh gosh. They're. They're your eyes, only…more," Jensen breathed. His eyes softened, his scent shifted from bitter and medicinal to that wonderful smell Jared had first fallen for—pine needles, hay. Caramel. Jared watched the last bit of fear drain from Jensen's face. He smiled, held out a hand to Jared. "Come on, then. Come here."

Jared wiggled forward, his tail practically a blur. He wiggled closer and closer until his nose was touching Jen's cheek and then, slowly, tentatively he swiped his tongue across Jen's perfect cheekbone. Jared whined happily. This was a fucking dream come true, Jensen tasted as sweet as he smelled, felt like velvet under his tongue. He lapped and whimpered and Jensen laughed lightly. It was wonderful, it made Jared's heart soar, and then the mood shifted, darkened.

Jensen threw his arms around Jared's neck, buried his face in the thick fur of Jared's ruff. He gripped handfuls of fur and hung on tight—Jared bore that slight pain as Jensen cried into his fur. "Jared…why am I a monster and you're so beautiful? Why…why aren’t I this way?"

Suddenly a startled Jensen had a lap full of naked Jared, and Jared felt bad about that, he really did, but right now he needed his human arms and his human speech. Jensen had to know, right now.

"No, but you _are,_ Jensen. So what if you don’t look like me? You’re still beautiful. To me." He kissed Jensen's temple, pressed his nose against it and breathed deep, happy that he could do this, drink in the scent he'd follow to the ends of the earth. 

 

They sat that way a long time, it seemed. Jared's concentration was split between feeling just how damn good Jensen felt pressed up against his chest, and struggling to keep from getting sprung—he very much doubted that Jensen would be pleased to deal with his erection along with…well, everything else. 

Jensen never seemed to notice that he had a huge, very naked man wrapped around him like kudzu. He cupped Jared's face, stared into his eyes. "Such beautiful eyes, even when you're not you, Jared." 

Jared wanted to protest, explain that the wolf _was_ him, maybe more so than the human side, but he was distracted by the way Jensen was licking his lips, biting that plump, delicious lower lip just like Jared wanted to. 

"Jared…it's been a long time, a terribly long time. Would you mind, would you…kiss me? Please?"

 

 _What? Oh! What—?_ Jared almost slipped off Jensen's lap with surprise. He even had to ask? Like Jared might say _no?_ "Damn, Jensen, yes of course, I'd love to, why wouldn't I, I've wanted…I…" he stopped babbling, cradled the back of Jensen's head in his hand, coaxed Jensen close enough to kiss. Not the filthy wet, deep, soul kiss he desperately wanted, _craved,_ after all this time. He took a quick breath and smiled at Jen. _Pup paws,_ he thought. _one step at a time, slow and steady…._

He was careful, barely brushing his mouth against Jensen's. Jensen still jerked like Jared had dropped a live wire on him, froze in Jared's arms, his eyes wide and glazed with fear.

 _Fuck!_ Jared knew he'd pushed too hard, he should have—

Suddenly, Jared was in a whirlwind made of Jensen's arms and legs and mouth, peppered with desperate kisses and _Oh fuck, oh fuck…._ Jensen ripped off his shirt, and wrestled his pants to his knees. Jared gasped at the touch of bare skin against skin. A little lick of sadness whisked through his head before he gave in to the raw wave of lust that punched right through him. This wasn't the way he'd imagined it…he'd imagined laying Jensen down on his bed, seducing him, convincing him to take this step…but he wasn't about to let that fantasy stop _this._ He didn't think Jensen would let him at this point. Fuck, Jared was pretty sure _he_ couldn't stop now. He was breathless, dizzy from being dragged along in the riptide of Jensen's need. He heard everything Jensen didn’t---couldn't—say, out loud; how much he'd longed for real contact, how afraid he'd been to reach out. How much he fucking _needed_ this. 

Jared tried to guide Jensen's explosive reaction, gentle him somewhat. He managed to cup Jen's face and tilt it up to his. Jared caught Jensen's mouth and swallowed his long, agonized moan. He was overwhelmed by Jensen's desperate need for contact—he was drowning in the feel of Jensen's skin and his smell and the very _heat_ of him. Jared's tongue slid against Jensen's in a soft but steady rhythm, rubbing lightly against the roof of his mouth, against his adorably flat teeth, the tender inside of his lip, like velvet….

 _Slow and steady…_ He didn't push, he didn't want to take more than Jensen wanted to give. But his lips, so pretty, so full and sweet and pink, flecked here and there with Jensen's sexy little freckles….

He huffed a soft laugh, and when Jensen protested, he licked his way down Jen's neck, sucked and licked, over and over, teasing a bit and enjoying it too much—until Jensen grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked him backwards. "Grrr, stop teasing," he snarled and Jared's dick twitched, begging for attention.

The sound Jensen made when Jared's dick moved against his bare skin was part moan, part whine and maybe a little cursing, too. Jared laughed into his mouth, and Jensen growled—pressed against Jared, nipped and licked and basically attacked his mouth, cupped Jared's dick and groaned.

 _slow, steady—pffft!_ Jared approved whole-heartedly. Eventually, they both had to breathe, and lips parted with a slick pop. Jared smiled at Jen—he felt proud of him, taking what he wanted. He kissed Jensen's cheek—and then dove back in; sucking on his tongue, his lower lip…he scraped teeth, gently licking over the path his teeth had taken. Fuck, he was getting hard, rubbing his dick against Jensen's. Yes, damn it, he wanted it, wanted everything.

"Wait, wait Jared," Jensen gasped. "Please." He pushed Jared—not hard, but gently insistent.

Jared instantly jerked away from him, mouth trying to form apologies. Jensen just smiled, dropped to his knees, and pushed forward into the vee of Jared's legs. Jared shuddered and cursed between tightly clenched teeth as Jensen licked a wide, hot, wet stripe up Jared's dick. 

"Like that?" he murmured and licked him again, up and over the crown, teasing the slit a little. Jared looked down, wide-eyed and just a little flustered. 

So, granted, something like this hadn't remotely been on his mind when he confronted Jensen, but Fen's blood if it wasn’t the best thing ever in the whole fucking world, and the best fucking thing that had ever happened to him in…in. _Ever._

He arched off the bed when Jensen forced the head right into his throat. Muscles spasmed— _fuck_ \--spit and precome dripped off his chin, rolling down Jared's dick to pool up where Jen's hand was wrapped around him.

"Ah, fuck, Jensen, if you don’t stop, I'm gonna come!"

"Well, yeah, that’s the point here." Jensen smirked up at him; it faded when Jared gently pushed him away. "What, did I do it wrong?"

"Fen, no, I just…wanna see you, like, all of you? Can you come up here with me—if you want to, I mean."

Jensen blushed…Jared watched it spread from his cheeks to his neck, and wanted to see that red flush spread further down his body. 

They lined up, from knee to dick to chest, sweat and spit and precome smoothing the way between them. Jared squirmed against Jensen, wiggling and sniffing and licking what he could reach, like a pup. He moaned at the fucking hot way Jensen's dick slid against his, bumping over his abs, dragging through spit and slick. Every slide forward provided just enough friction to get his own dick jumping and drooling. 

"Jared, Jared, feels so good. You don’t know, shit, how long it's been. You want me—you like me—"

 _Fuck like,_ he wanted to shout. _I fucking *love* you_ —but that would be crazy and it was better to wait and—

"Oh, oh, fuck! Jen!"

He let the feeling build, threw himself wide open to it, reveled in the orgasm rushing up at him, kicking him off the edge—the explosion rushed hot and welcome over him, he arched up into Jensen just as Jensen ground down against him, sobbing with the effort of breathing and coming at once. 

 

Eventually, reality came creeping back, much as Jared wished he could curl around Jensen and keep him there forever. 

"Jared," Jensen sighed. 

Jared stared at Jensen, looking for…anything. Anything off. But he sounded okay. He looked okay—"Are you okay, Jen?"

"Oh yeah, better than…" He looked up at Jared, surprise in his eyes, wonder coloring his voice. "It didn't hurt. Not once. Oh, I knew you weren't going to hurt me—well, not on purpose. I guess I just…forgot, y'know? How it could be without pain."

They were skin to skin, reclining against the headboard of Jensen's oak bed. Jared was feeling wrung-out, not entirely due to sex. Jensen's simple wonder at non-painful sex had Jared freaking on the inside…but Jensen just sighed deeply, rolled to his side and threw an arm over Jared's chest and shoved a leg between Jared's with a contented huff. 

Jared could hardly get over the feel of Jensen, slick with sweat and come, glued to his side and breathing steadily, comfortably. Jared would do anything to make sure he stayed that way. He inhaled deeply, loving the way the whole place smelled of him and Jensen. Figured he'd pretty much wiped out any smell the bed had besides his and Jensen's. It made him feel like an alpha of alphas. He looped an arm over Jensen's shoulder, pulled him in a bit closer, kissed the top of his head before letting him go.

It was time. 

Jared sat up because he couldn't be sprawled against Jensen, feeling him breathe, if he was about to tear his world apart. He hoped that his mate would understand, that he'd get why, and more importantly, that he'd want the out being offered to him. A chance at a whole new world, one Jared sincerely hoped would include him as well. 

"Jensen…I have to tell you, my…my cousins, they're going after Kane and his friends. The Wilk know about what he's doing, and the information they have can't be left loose. One way or another, he's going to bring shit down on us…whether it's because people find out about werewolves, or find out about us. The Wilk, I mean. We're not werewolves, we're…okay, that's something I'll explain about later, too. The important thing right now is, I told my folks about this…this club thing, and they want to take him and his little circle out of the picture. "

Jensen sat up immediately, frowning. "No! You can't—"

"I'll do what I can, but Jensen…you can't keep doing this—" a horrible, little niggling thought flickered to life in his head, made his gut freeze—"you—you don't want to, right?"

" _No,_ god, Jared, I don't. Especially now. I mean…I'd rather not do this; I hated it from the start. I told myself it was okay because I didn’t remember it, because it wasn't _me,_ but. If there's a chance not to do that and still keep people safe, then, no, I'm done. But I don’t want Chris to be…" He shook his head. "I don’t want him hurt. It's not really his fault."

Jared was proud of himself, proud that he didn't hit the roof, that he didn't shift and take off to hunt that little fucker down and eat him right that fuckin' minute. "I think I get it. Sort of," he said as he got out of bed, calmly as he could. He dressed quickly, hoping Jensen would understand, some day, why everyone in that club had to die. Including Jensen's so-called _"savior"._

"Look, can you do me a favor? Please don't leave the apartment. Stay here until I get back. I'm not even going to be gone long, a few minutes, that's all. Kane won't be by for another few hours, right? So I'm going to let the regulators know what's up—shit, I'll explain that when I get back, too—then I'm gonna pick you up and take you someplace safe. We'll head out to the ranch, okay? And I'll try and…I'll _try_ to talk to them about Kane." Jared hoped that saving Jensen from a life of horror outweighed the wrong of lying to him.

"All right. Wait—ranch? What ranch? You have a ranch?"

Jared laughed. "I'll explain _everything,_ soon, I promise. You're going to like it, I know you will. Please tell me you'll come home with me?"

"Jared, I…yeah. Okay…if you're sure it's going to be okay with your family," he said, reluctantly. 

"Oh, Jensen, they can’t wait to meet you, I swear it. It's gonna be good, just wait until I get back—ten minutes, tops."

He ran to the door. Behind him, he heard Jensen, quietly laughing.

 

Jared was as good as his word: he made one quick call to Jeff, then calls to Gram and his dad, explaining he was bringing Jensen tonight instead of waiting, and then he hurried back to Jensen's. Anything they needed could be had at the ranch, anything Jensen needed could be sent for. Pedroncelli could oversee that until Jared could come back to town….

"Jensen?" Jared called out. "Hey, you ready? I kind of want to hurry it up—Jensen?"

Jared froze. The place felt empty, wrong. He ran past the empty living room, kicked open the door on the empty bedroom, the empty bathroom. 

Jensen was gone. 

The bed was still a rumpled mess; the clothes Jensen had taken off earlier were balled up on the end of it. His closet door was open, a couple of hangers on the floor in front of it, but nothing major was missing, it seemed. The shoes he'd kicked off earlier were still on the bedroom floor. 

As far as Jared could tell, nothing else had been touched. He calmed himself, and let his nose lead the way. Jensen's scent was tinged with fear, not stinking of it; just a faint whiff mixed with…excitement, a stronger smell of meat, a scent Jared was beginning to think was a signal that Jensen was close to shifting. Laced throughout was the stink of Kane, the evil little fucker. It was stronger at the bed, almost overriding the scent of Jen and himself. Jared growled, his hair struggled to stand straight up, his nails popped as he grabbed the comforter. The material shredded in his grip. 

Jensen's and Kane's mingled scent was thick on the bed. The growl rolling out of Jared's throat was nearly a roar. He ripped the pillows off the bed, and heard a slither, a dry flutter, like the flick of an insect's wing. A piece of paper dropped to the floor, landed on his foot. He bent and picked it up. 

_It's okay. I went with Chris. Promise, I'll go with you when I come back. I owe him one last time._

The paper was smudged, wrinkled like Jensen had kneeled on it. The handwriting was barely legible, and Jared had the feeling that it wasn't because of Jensen's lack of penmanship. He suspected that Jensen must have been falling deeply into his shift. There'd been clues in Jensen's behavior all along—his defense of Kane, his insistence that Kane was unselfishly looking out for him, the submissive attitude he'd seen that day in the hallway—that led Jared to think that Jensen's dependency on Kane became stronger under the influence of the shift. Almost like…Jensen was imprinted on the little fuck. 

Fur raced over Jared's arms, his body strained against the confinement of his clothes before he managed to wrestle back his rage. "Son-of-a-bitch, damn it—Fenrir's bloody-ass jaws, I'm gonna kill that cocksucker. Gonna rip him to _shreds,_ gonna piss down his throat and eat his fuckin' _liver—"_ Jared bit down on a howl and dropped to his knees, breathing deeply, struggling for calm. 

_Okay, okay…_ first thing to do was call his Alphas, let them know what was up, and then he'd ride along tonight with the regulators the way they'd originally planned. Maybe push the timetable up, if possible. Jared cursed himself. If only he'd moved faster, earlier. He could have had Jensen safe at home with family and not have to go through this…torment tonight.


	4. Well, I saw Lon Chaney walkin' with the queen, doin' the werewolves of London.

Given the PadAlecki Alphas' sanction, Annella had quickly put together a crew for the mission—she'd selected Wilk from the Alecki regulators, but asked to bring her own lieutenants, and Gerry had agreed to that. He'd insisted that the Wilk they rescued be surrendered to PadAlecki justice, since he'd been discovered on Pad lands, more importantly, Alecki lands. Alpha Alecki's only other request was that she take Jared. She'd side-eyed the PadAlecki Alpha on that but had no choice, even being just the Gamma Alecki, Jared outranked her. 

Jared and the Alecki regulators met Annella and her lieutenants in the park near the club. Annella had met with the Alecki regulators already, but this was the first time they'd met her lieutenants. She introduced her first as Padel; her other lieutenant was a deceptively delicate-looking female Wilk, Parker. She bowed politely when introduced to Jared, but flashed him a grin full of Wilk teeth, startling in a human mouth. Jared grinned back, he liked her instantly. 

They hid in the shadows of the trees, talking quietly together, comparing notes, Jared assumed. His mind was on one thing, _one person_ —he'd leave the details to the professionals. He appreciated that Annella wasn't angry about him being foisted on her and deferred to her—alpha or not, he knew who was really in charge of this sortie. Annella's lieutenants might try to cover it, but Jared knew they were a little less than happy to have a civilian trailing along, but he really couldn't give a shit. All that mattered to him was freeing Jensen. He was more than happy to leave pack law and politics to the others.

 

Annella called him closer. "We're nearly ready. As soon as the van is in position, everything is go." 

"There's only six of us," Jared said doubtfully, and the regulators grinned at each other. 

Jared huffed quietly. "Okay, if that's enough, then why the fuck are we just standing here?" He was impatient and worried and it made him short tempered—Jensen was in there, somewhere, needing him. He'd have to bite his tongue though—he didn't think that it was a good idea to share with Sancsal just what his relationship with Jensen was. 

"I mean, we're ready when you are," he added and tried to sound a little less like he was about to snap someone's face off.

"Thank you, Alpha—"

Jared winced. It still felt odd to be called Alpha, felt like trying on an ill-fitting suit. 

Annella went on, "—as for the number of regulators, don't worry—we've have a few people in the van we can call on if it becomes necessary, but it's doubtful that we will. The club's empty—there are only four humans, the transick guy, and two canines." She shrugged. "No reason why this shouldn't go smoothly. We'll get the Wilk out and up to Alecki territory handily. Thanks again to your Alphas for volunteering to help the poor guy." 

She eyed him with a tinge of suspicion but Jared just nodded. "Not a problem, PadUch. We do what we do for the pack." Jared hoped his scent didn't make her more suspicious, but she just hummed in agreement.

A small beep went off in one of the many tiny pockets of her suit. "There's the signal. It's time, guys," she said, and the group stripped off, slipping out of the black jumpsuits they all wore, Jared following suit. Annella showed him how to wrap the suit and the soft shoes they wore into a bundle and loosely loop it around his neck, just like the rest of them. They shifted, then she leaned her muzzle against his, _Don't want to show up naked in the streets, right?_

They all snuffled—it was a rare Wilk who didn’t have at least one embarrassing childhood story of a clothes-less shift. 

 

Jared's heart sped up; sweat gathered at his hairline…he fought to keep from tearing past the regulators and throwing himself against the doors. They eased their way slowly, horribly slowly to Jared, into the alleyway behind the club, slipping into the shadows behind the dumpsters. 

In the blank, cinderblock wall of the club were two doors, featureless grey steel slabs with deadbolts, but no security cameras trained on them. Annella held Jared and the regulator back, sent Parker ahead. Once at the club, she trotted between the two doors, back and forth, scenting the air. She stopped in front of one of the doors and quickly shifted. She dug in the folds of the suit around her neck, and then bent to the door, doing something Jared couldn't make out.

 _picking the lock_ Annella explained. 

The girl stepped back into the open doorway and waved them in. 

Jared ran past, following Annella. They softfooted after her, made their way down the dark hall that led to the rooms under the club. There were a few offices, and sitting rooms; Jared was startled to see what looked like a small theater in one room—his stomach twisted as he imagined what kind of films they showed there…. 

They moved quietly through the empty dark, scenting, until Annella signaled for them to stop. 

They shook out of fur and took the bundles around their necks off, Jared following suit. The black suits made them all look like divers, and even scared and worried out of his mind, Jared laughed briefly, a soft sound echoed by the others. 

 

Annella whispered in his ear, "I know, I know, we look like an amateur version of Mission Impossible." Her deep chuckle faded as they moved silently into the room that the Uch ex-regulator had described to Annella. According to the informant, everything about the underground club was in that room—names, photos, and information about the customers, meant to be insurance for the club runners. The ex-regulator hinted that there might have been a bit of blackmail involved, but he hadn't been sure. He'd never been that high in Kane's confidence. 

Her regulators quickly tossed the office, looking for that information. The names and addresses were more important than the films or pictures. They were the people that the regulators would have to hunt down if that was the Alphas' decision. If the regulators were ordered to take that hunt to the conclusion, then those people were dead and Jared couldn't give a shit. They deserved to die. 

Something glimmering in the corner of his eye caught his attention; he glanced up and saw the tiny red light of an active camera. "PadUch—camera," he whisper-shouted. 

Annella cursed, hurried her regulators. Her other lieutenant, Padel, turned to her, frowning with tension. "Stay or shift, PadUch?" he asked.

"Fuck," Annella snapped. "Shift. We need whatever advantage we can get if they know we're coming." She quickly bundled the information into the suit she stripped off, and nodded as Parker took the camera out. Furred, Annella was heading towards the truck, faster and less noticeable than she'd be as human—what she had was more important than helping to snatch Jensen out—this cesspit of horror needed to be destroyed. And while Jared knew that intellectually, his heart burned and for one second, an irrational wave of hatred for her rocked him, _traitor, deserter, leaving pack behind_. Her crew whined with the sudden, agitated shout of emotion through the link. Jared swallowed hard. He wrestled his emotions down—fought the wolf inside for control, his stomach twisting and burning. 

 

They were out of the office when Jared scented it first. 

A stink, strongly overlaid with the bitter smell of silver, came flowing towards them. It was sharp and bright—fresh. It stung his nose; all around him the regulators were wrinkling their snouts. The rank smell wove over and through the sting of silver…sex, blood, piss, plus the stink of canines. And men. The Wilk snorted and huffed at each other— _humans. What the hell_ —before moving off into the darkness again. 

Jared could feel the faint worry through the link. The hallway was not just dark, but narrow—when the humans and their dogs came, that was going to be a problem.

And speaking of problems—barreling down that narrow hall came two of the largest dogs Jared had ever seen. Wiry, dark, fur-covered bodies wrapped in thick muscle—Irish Wolfhounds, Jared thought. Appropriate. And dangerous. They were the size of ponies, looked even bigger, and they were pissed the hell off by Jared and the other Wilks just drawing breath. "Skull, Hati," the human yelled out, "Hold, don't kill!"

Jared eyed the dogs bearing down on them and figured there was no chance in hell of those dogs obeying that order—they knew, he could smell it, that the Wilk were something different, something they needed to kill. The feeling was mutual.

The threat sent instinct crashing through them. He heard one of the regulators howl. The threat to their alpha, no matter that he was only temporarily pack leader, set them off. They lunged past on either side of him—the Alecki regulators trying to shoulder past Annella's pair, crowding each other to stand squarely in front of Jared. They growled when he tried to push through. They had him effectively trapped him behind them. 

The fight was bloody, the canines having been trained to hold back something even bigger and fiercer than Wilk. Dogs and Wilk battled each other back down the hall, Jared practically up their tails with the need to get closer to the scent he caught now. That bitter stink of silver mixed with that of blood and other scents filled the hall, but now he was picking up the smell of wet fur, scorched meat…the screams rose, and then abruptly bit off. Annella's crew stood over the hounds, bleeding, exhausted, panting like mad but standing. 

"Shift, Alpha," Padel growled and Jared did without thought. _That door, that's the one,_ he heard. He reached for the doorknob, knowing it was pointless, that he'd have to wait for Parker and her lockset. He rattled the doorknob anyway…it swung right open.

 

The door wasn't locked…it didn't need to be. Its inhabitant was either brainwashed to stay, or incapable of turning the knob. A simple closed door was sufficient to keep it trapped….

Kane swung around to meet his eyes. The other men in the room froze, all eyes shooting to the regulators. 

Kane dropped the chain in his hand; the heavy smell of scorched fur and skin made Jared's stomach roil. There was something curled on the floor in front of Kane—someone. Of course, Jared knew who it was.

Kane laughed like he'd just heard the world's dirtiest joke. "Well, well, well. Lookit who's here. The cavalry. Get 'em, boys." 

His wolf leaped out—fur flew with the speed of his change, the force of his rage. He shook his head and the suit around his neck went flying—he was so enraged that he was pure wolf instinct for that moment. In Wilk form, the stink hit him like a sledge hammer, but he smelled something else too, something that made him choke. Jensen smelled like death. 

Kane bent down to the heap in front of him, and whatever he did made Jensen scream.

There was screaming everywhere—gunshots, sound and motion, Jared was dancing as he tried to get to his—his _mate._ A stray bullet chipped the wall over his head, the shower of sharp concrete slivers sending him to his belly. When he looked up again, the huddled form on the floor rose up, and up, and up—arms stretched wide, fucking huge hands spread wide and tipped with knives—it let loose a roar like a fucking lion, all wet, red jaws and hooked teeth—

All Jared could do was stare, transfixed—everyone in the room froze. _Fenrir's bloody fucking jaws…_ echoed through the link. _What…the fuck…_

 

Live, in person, Jensen did look a bit like a Wilk with shift syndrome—but much wilder than that. Fuck, he was the personification of Fenrir. He smelled like wolf, smelled like Jensen, he smelled like nothing on this earth that Jared had ever scented before. His scent made Jared dizzy, it made him hard. It made him want to cry, it was just too much and not enough. Jensen should look like a nightmare out of childhood stories whispered shakily in the dark, like a monster…but he _wasn't._

He was wild and terrifying, and _completely beautiful._ The bitter smell was fading and the air was rank with the stink of blood, come, silver…and insanity.

Jensen looked down on them, acid-green eyes shifting erratically, darting here and there and totally empty of anything that made him Jensen, but they glowed with some kind of wild inner fire…his jaws opened wider and he hissed, a startling sound from a creature like that.

It was silent as a winter hunt for long seconds, until Jensen suddenly hurled himself at the regulators. They scattered, growling and snarling. Gunshots rang again, the humans firing wildly—there was a screech and a burning sensation in the link that faded into a dead spot—

 _Get the humans, get them!_ Jared tried to herd Jensen back against the wall, out of the fight, but Jensen was busy trying to kill him. Jared caught Kane trying to sneak out of the room through a far doorway, but he was jumped and pulled back into the room by snarling regulators. Jared darted around Jensen and launched himself at Kane—he planned to sink his fangs right into his throat—in all his life, he'd never personally killed any living thing, but tonight, _tonight…._

"Get the fuck off, you fucking hairball-sucking bastard!" Kane lashed at Jared with the chain, let out a triumphant whoop when the chain coiled around Jared's muzzle—triumph that morphed into confusion and fear when Jared just opened wide and snapped the thin links. 

It took Jared a moment to realize it was quiet—the remaining regulators had the humans pinned down, a casualty of their own sprawled on the floor, frozen forever in Wilk form. _Alpha?_ Annella's lieutenant asked, doing him the courtesy of pretending the final hunt was his. 

Jared snarled, _Kill them, kill them all._

He turned to Kane just as Jensen crawled to Kane and licked his feet, whimpering. Blood dripped from the split, burnt edges of his mouth. Blood followed the path of the chains wrapped around his body. Lying at Kane's feet, Jensen tried to roll over for him and Kane kicked him in the ribs. He kicked Jensen so hard that Jared heard bone snap. 

The world went red—literally red washing over his vision. Jared had never had that happen to him before. He'd never, _ever_ wanted to kill anything like he wanted to kill Kane. Behind him, he heard the quiet yelps and muffled shouts of pain as the regulators silently killed the men who'd known what went on here. The men who didn't know about the Wilk, but knew about werewolves and torture and rape, and that knowledge bought them a bloody end.

Jensen reared upright at the sound of men dying, murder in his eyes, intent on protecting Kane. 

Jared danced out of claw reach, and instinct overrode sense as he tried to connect with him, screaming in his head for Jensen. Jensen staggered, shook and shook his head and moaned. A streak of grey swept past both of them and Annella appeared, her jaws tight around Kane's throat. She took a breath and over the lightning pulses of pain in Jared's head he heard _Alpha?_ and roared _yes!_ through the link.

She snapped Kane' neck, letting his limp body drop out of her mouth. 

Jared staggered again at Jensen's scream of loss, and the weird, wild muttering that filled his head, like a Wilk with concussion. Rambling images, warbling, uncontrolled thoughts and words and guilt, guilt directly from Jensen. Jensen shoved Kane with his nose and howled like he'd lost a mate. Jared would be devastated at the seeming depth of Jensen's grieving, he'd have torn what was left of Kane to shreds in a jealous rage—but he clearly picked up what was under Jensen's savage mourning, under the sorrow and guilt…a wavering thread of relief.

Jared gasped when the howling, mumbling, dizzying shifts of point of view that was the inside of Jensen's head suddenly cut off. Jensen was unconscious. Jared whined, he'd only sort of linked with Jen for a few seconds, and it already felt like a terrible loss not to feel him.

 

The next day was almost worse than the day before. 

Jensen was in a private section of the small infirmary the Alecki pack maintained for injuries that would bring too much attention to the pack. The room was bright, the sunlight reflecting off white walls, white sheets, pale wood floors. It looked entirely too average, too… _normal_ for what was happening in the cheerful little room at the moment. 

Jensen was convulsing on the bed, in some sort of fever. His bones were shifting without purpose, elongating, shrinking, and back again. Jared could hear them cracking; hear muscle tearing, smell blood trapped under Jen's skin. The acidic smell faded, but with the fading, Jensen's crippled shift seemed to get more intense. Jared struggled to hold himself back, and not leap onto the bed with Jen like his poor fucked heart was demanding he do. Gram would probably knock the shit out of him for getting in the way…he swallowed a noise that was absolutely not a sob. 

"Explain why is this happening, Doctor Poitier," Gram demanded of the doctor she'd selected to oversee Jensen's care. "It's so much like transick, but nothing at all is happening and his wolf won't surface."

The doctor looked Jensen over critically, his dark-brown eyes going even darker with sympathy for the pain his patient was going through. Jared had to admire the guy. He'd gone from freaked out and out of his depth by this bizarre case to totally professional in a heart-beat. Being eyeballed sternly by Gram had a tendency to bring that out in people.

"He's not Wilk, this isn’t a trapped-between-stages non-shift…but somehow, I doubt that this is normal for him either. For…werewolves, and I can't believe that's even coming out of my _mouth,"_ he said, in a tone of voice that managed to force a faint laugh from Jared. It had a definite note of _and then Cinder Claws stuffed fat, little bunnies in *all* the children's stockings…_

Poitier pulled Jensen's sheet away from his chest, where currently all his hair was busily falling out, just in time for the next wave of fresh hair pushing itself out of Jen's thighs, growing crazily fast, rushing over his skin to thinly cover his groin and chest and neck, but not fast enough to cover what was interesting to the doctor. "These lumps here on his chest…they’re hot. I don’t think they're natural." 

"I thought they were brands," Jared said.

"Oh, no, there's no edge here, just a smooth swelling; there is something under the skin, some sort of…pellet."

Jared leaned closer, his lip almost brushing against Jen's skin. He sniffed, growled softly, and Poitier and the Alphas moved discretely a respectful distance away from the table, without Jared really noticing. "Silver."

The doctor gaped at him. "Silver, like in the movies? I can't believe it. Though why that's any odder than the very existence of this man…" 

There was a general mutter of agreement. Weirdness no longer had any bounds, it seemed. Jared figured when he got a chance, he'd sit down and have a serious think about the direction their lives had taken recently….

"With your permission, Gamma-Alpha…" Poitier skittered closer, daring to lay his hands on Jared's mate. "I wonder," he said, and pressed his thumb against the closest lump. He wiggled it, moved his thumb up and down and Jensen gasped and huffed in his sleep. Poitier turned to Jared, totally ignoring Gram and his dad. "Pad Gamma-Alpha Alecki, these pieces of…of silver are right under the skin. If my staff and I have your permission, we can easily cut these out." 

Jared stood tall, huffing in pleasure and eyeing Dad and Gram. The doctor asked him first, and well he should. Jensen was his mate. Well, at least until Jen woke up and either tore Jared's throat out, or…agreed with everyone else about being Jared's mate. Jared twitched with the intense desire for that outcome. And now…he licked lips gone suddenly dry. "Do it."

 

They cut the silver slugs out of Jensen's chest. It went as easily as he'd hoped, Doctor Poitier said, when he met Jared ahd his family in the waiting area. 

"The three small incisions at the base of his throat have been cleaned of contaminants and stitched," he explained as they made their way back to Jensen's room. The room was being cleared of the surgical implements when Jared and his family reentered the room. Jensen was flat on his back on the hospital bed, breathing deeply and easily.

"Scaring will be minimal, Gamma-Alpha, and he should wake up soon—" 

Poitier barely had a chance to get the words out before Jensen woke, and he woke with a bang, flailing and howling and screaming. Bedding went flying, his wind-milling arms swept the side table clear. The water carafe smashed to pieces against the floor boards and the noise seemed to send Jensen into an even more frenzied state. 

Jared, the doctor and a few nurses swarmed over Jensen, trying to hold him down as he suddenly went through a violent shift that shook them all right down to their bones. Jared couldn't stop himself from crying out—the shift was nightmarish. He heard Jen's bones crack, flesh tear. He could see the bones moving under the fur. All through the shift, Jensen howled until he just couldn’t any more. Tears, thick and oily, poured from his eyes. Jared cursed himself for adding to Jensen's torture, when he'd sworn that Jen would never suffer again. 

 

After a few minutes that felt like hours, Jensen finally began to calm, the nightmarish shift at last coming to an end. But when it was completely over, a beautiful, dark blond wolf lay under their hands, blinking curiously at them. The dark blond fur gradually lightened from forehead to nose, becoming a cream colored mask. Dark, nearly black fur lined his leaf-green eyes, making them glow. And all through the light cream fur, little specks of a darker color gleamed. Jared laughed, a bit warbly with tears held back. He felt like he was floating, he was so damn happy. Jensen was alive, he was whole for the first time in long years, and, as Jared suddenly realized… "He's got freckles…oh my…he still has freckles."

Wolf-Jensen snorted, ears back and eyes narrowed and they all laughed. 

 

"Well, Sweetie-paws…I can see why you fell so hard. This is what he was supposed to be all along. It's…amazing," Gram said. 

His mom stood at Jared's side and took his hand, squeezed it. "You did a good thing, honey. Wilk or not, we're happy to take him into the family. We're happy to help." She leaned closer and whispered in Jared's ear, "and I hope you know, we'd have taken him even if he was just human. We only ever wanted you to be happy."

Jared sighed, and took his mom in a big hug. He felt the agreement through the link, faint out of the fur, but still enough to let him feel the love flowing his way.

"Well. He's different, isn't he? Beautiful for sure…but doesn't it just figure that Jay-Jay's the one to nest so far afield," June said. 

Jared's gaze snapped towards her, but she was smiling down at Jensen, seemed completely captivated. Jensen's ears swiveled towards her, and his head went down a bit, he looked like a cub, totally, adorably sweet. Hard to believe this beautiful boy curled up in the hospital bed was the same being that had almost taken his head off. 

Jared took a chance and cast along the link to Jensen—he didn't hit the concrete wall this time, but he still only got jumbled feedback: faint scents, blurry, dream-like images, and garbled half-words. 

Jared was terribly disappointed; Jensen was almost as impossible to read as a dog. But there was intelligence in his leaf-green eyes, and he tracked Jared with recognition. He seemed pleased to see Jared and Jared exhaled in relief. That Jensen seemed to know him, even fully shifted, was half the battle. Now…they'd have help Jensen adapt to a new way of life. What he'd had with Kane had been horrible and exploitative, but he'd been somewhat safe from…well, most people. 

"Hey, guys, can I get a minute alone with my, uh, with Jen?" 

Jared waited until the family filed out before shifting. Jensen reared back with a huff of surprise, but then his ears went forward and he moved over on the bed so that Jared could jump up and curl up next to him. This close to him, Jensen whined, licked at Jared's face and ears. The link let Jared feel how content Jensen was to be pressed against him. He felt Jen's steady heartbeat, his soothing heat. 

Jensen drifted off to sleep and Jared followed him, dreaming of running shoulder to shoulder with Jen, the moon shining down on a beautiful golden mist flowing effortlessly next to him…bright green eyes swelling, larger and larger, until he fell into a deep, cool, green lake and floated side by side with human Jensen, turning and drifting around each other, arms and legs entwined and hearts beating in synch…. 

 

Doctor Poitier assured Jared that as soon as the full moon waned, Jensen could be released, and the Aleckis decided he'd stay with them in the ranch house. Jared was happy about that…and a little worried, seeing as how staying at the ranch left Jensen and him open to the noses of his immediate family, lovely wolves, all of them but none of them had ever met a stone they didn't flip, absolutely no concept of privacy, the lot of them. Especially when it came to him. 

Jared figured he'd just have to deal with that as it came. Should be very interesting.

The moon waned, and Jensen was human again. Jared was happy to see him, to be able to speak to him again, but he missed that beautiful wolf. He was sorry that he wouldn't see him, beautiful and furred out, until the full moon.

 

He had a difficult time telling Jensen what happened to Kane, it was hard explaining why Kane's death was something that Jared would never regret. 

"You don't understand," Jensen said. "He tried to protect me!" Jensen was beside himself, his shouts echoing in the infirmary room. 

"He almost killed you—every damn month with that silver in your system, you almost died. You were in constant pain, Fens'teeth, Jensen—you were in _constant pain!"_

"I got used to it," he shouted, "and Chris explained why. He knew that I couldn’t control the urge to kill with each full moon—the silver made me weaker, kept me as human as possible…he tried, I told you before, Chris tried. It cost, you know? All this, it was expensive." Jensen's face crumpled as the anger leached away. He looked confused, as if his words were meant to convince himself as much as Jared.

"You know, I don’t know if I hate him more because of what he did to your wolf, or what he did to you. He had you raped every month, and—and fucking made you his secretary and gofer the rest of the month. You act like you have nothing—Jensen, you could get a job anywhere with your skills—" Jared stopped, like he'd just heard what was coming out of his mouth and laughed; the very situation was a bitter, twisted kernel of funny in the center of a towering mountain of pure horror. 

"What’s so fucking funny, Jared? Or did you get that it would work until the fucking full moon when I change into a _monster_ and _EAT THE WHOLE OFFICE."_

Jared gulped like a fish. "No, fuck, I'm not laughing at you, no, no. I'm—the whole fucking _thing_ is crazy. It's crazy. You're _not_ going to hurt anyone, and besides, you have me, okay? I'll protect you—my whole family will. _All_ of them, Jensen. You haven't seen anyone yet on the ranch who's _not_ family, who won’t take care of you."

Jensen looked at Jared like he'd lost his fucking mind. He said slowly, carefully, "I'm a werewolf, Jared. A monster."

"Yeah, well…so what. I'm an eighth grade teacher. And a Wilk."

Jensen stopped his pacing, eyed Jared sadly. "Of those two, which is the most important thing to you?"

"Jen, it's not a matter of what's most important. It just is. I was born Wilk, I decided to become a teacher of humans and live mostly in a human world, but that doesn’t' make either one of those things more important. They just _are."_

"Yeah, well, I didn’t choose to become a monster, and I certainly didn't choose to become a...a…"

"Now you have a choice, Jen. And you'll get to learn just who you are. If you ask me, you're beautiful." He smiled wide at Jensen, who flushed and looked away—but Jared noted that he certainly didn't look upset, so…close to a win.

+

He thanked Bart Pahucki for coming up from Rolling Rock and driving them up to the main house from the infirmary. They could have walked the short trail there, but Jared wanted to get the whole family meet-and-greet out of the way as quickly as possible. Plus, he wanted to have chance to sort of give Jensen a little time to get ready to meet Jared's blood family.

He grabbed the bag Greg Perdoncelli had brought from Jen's apartment. Jared had asked him to pack up whatever of Jensen's personal effects remained after the regulators finished with his apartment. The bag Greg brought him was kind of small and awfully light. Jared hitched the strap higher on his shoulder and sighed. Just another thing he was going to have to explain to Jensen. Safe to say he wasn't looking forward to that….

"Um…Jared?" Jensen said, before stumbling to a stop. 

"What the tangled-footed…crap."

It looked like the whole damn family was waiting in the driveway, some excited to meet the person their Alphas had described as Jared's mate, some just curious because that mate was a man. No one outside of the Alphas knew that Jensen was what he was. And not a one of them was about to question what Sophia, the Pad Alecki Alpha Retrix, had deemed good for her grandson, and therefore, good for the pack.

Gram came trotting over first, fully dressed thank goodness, her arms wide—Jensen didn't have chance to make a break for it before Gram had him tangled up in a hug. "Jen...zon." She ignored Jared's annoyed huff and his whispered, _"Jensen, for Fen's sake, how hard…"_

She patted Jensen's cheek. "We're so happy to see you again, sweetheart. We've been just dying to get you home with us."

Dad was at her side, of course, Jared beamed. This was it--almost official. His Alphas coming out to greet Jensen was as good as saying that they accepted his choice without reservation

Dad looked Jensen up and down; his nostrils fluttered slightly and he sighed deeply. Held his hand out to Jensen when Gram finally let loose of him. "Welcome to the family, young man. Our house is your house." 

Jensen cut a quick look at Jared, who winked back at Jensen, and then gave Dad a big smile. The greeting he gave Jen sounded completely sincere. They both ignored the way Mom was standing right next to Dad, practically under his arm, and smiling brightly in that way that said, "Screw this up, Gerry PadAlecki and you'll wish you never got out of bed this morning."

She greeted Jensen warmly—she'd made her feelings plain at the infirmary, and treated Jensen like a long lost cub. He leaned right into the hug she gave him, and Jared bit his lip at the way Jensen's eyes slipped shut and he seemed to settle a bit.

Still, by the time Jeff introduced himself and his fiancé, and June and her family did as well, Jensen was wide-eyed, and growing steadily paler with each new face he met. Jared decided it was past time he stepped in.

"Family, I need to take Jensen to our room, now. It's been a hell of a strain on him, you know." 

A chorus of voices urged them on, apologizing and fussing over Jen, "Oh, oh, sure, yes, go on."

Jensen swallowed hard. He glanced at Jared, gratitude swimming in his eyes. The poor guy had gone so pale his freckles were standing out like cinnamon dust. He was definitely overwhelmed. 

Jared grabbed his hand and they maneuvered through the gauntlet of wide-eyed cousins without too much trouble. Jared was infinitely grateful some wiser head decided to keep the cubs out of it.

+

They walked through the family room, Jensen dragging slightly as he took in the huge expanse of raw rock that was the rear wall of the family/dining room, the long, curving wall of windows that made a perfect presentation of the ranch land: meadows, distant mountain peaks and an aquamarine blue sky, high and clear. He stopped and gaped at the view. Jared looked as well, tried to see it as Jen was probably seeing it…okay, it was maybe a little ostentatious.

Jared hurried him through a set of French doors that opened to the wide breezeway connecting the main building with the private family wing. Jensen stumbled along with him, staring at the fitted-stone floor, the carved stone columns that supported the tiled roof. 

He took Jensen through another set of French doors at the end of the breezeway, and then across a huge foyer. Sunlight streamed in through a skylight in the ceiling. Another set of doors led them to a pool and beyond that were the tiny family cottages. Jared had figured a cottage would be best for them instead of setting up in his bedroom. It should afford them a little more privacy than staying in the main house. He hoped so, anyway. His family had the most tenuous grasp on what defined privacy. 

He unlocked a cottage, opened drapes and windows wide to get a little light in the room, opened the balcony doors to air it out in a nice cross-breeze...Jensen stood still as a statue in the center of the room, mouth open, eyes shifting here and there, trying to take in everything. Finally, he croaked, "Jared, you never told me you were stinking, fucking, _rich._ Jared—this place is unreal. It's…it's incredible. It's _beautiful!_

Jared beamed. "Mom would love to hear you say that."

"Yeah…well…I don't know. Maybe I should go. This is—I don’t fit in here, man. I don’t even know how to act, what to say."

"Well, you're going to miss a hell of a BBQ if you do go. Plus…Gram wants to talk to you. And, everyone might sortabeundertheimpressionthatwe'reengaged."

"Hunh," Jensen muttered, looking puzzled until his brain apparently sorted through the word vomit and realized what Jared had said. "What! No! Not that I don't—I mean, I do really like you, Jared," he said when Jared's face fell. "No, I really do. I swear it's not that I don’t care about you. It's just—it's kind of a lot. A little over a week ago, I was under Chris' thumb, thinking it was a good thing. And I know that this—you, your family, really _is_ a good thing. It's just—Jared, I still not the one choosing. Someone else is making decisions for me again. When do _I_ get to be free, finally?"

 

"Jensen. You've seen how big this place is—hell, there's a lot more of it than this. You'll never have to see me if you don't want to, Jensen." Jared stopped, shuffled his feet and bit his lip. His heart ached in his chest. Felt like he was wearing a cast iron corset and it was getting smaller with each breath.

"God, that's not it, Jared. Fuck…I _want_ to be with you. I kind of got used to you…" he smiled shyly at Jared. "It's just that…all my life, feels like, I depended on Chris—hell, Chris made me dependent on him, I get that now. But there's this little, niggling voice in the back of my head that’s telling me I've gone from being Chris's property to being…yours. Your family's. In a way."

"No! No, you're _not,"_ Jared insisted, ignoring the cold, sick clench of his stomach, because really? Yeah, he kind of was. 

Jensen smiled sadly. "Your...alphas? Can't afford to have me running around loose—there's too much chance I'll cause trouble. If I kill, god forbid, in my shift, that brings attention to you all. Attention that's bound to start questions and questions lead to trouble…."

"But you won't have to stay here, at least not for long, Jensen. It won’t always be this way. We just have to make sure no one out there knows about you. When you're safe, and healed completely, and can manage your shifts, you'll be free to leave. To go anywhere you want. We'll help you…settle wherever you…you want." The pressure in his chest was killing him. He felt himself shatter into pieces inside. But if Jensen didn’t want him, what could he do but let him hunt elsewhere?

"Come here, you idiot. I don’t want to leave _you._ I'm…is it okay if I say I'm not sure what this is I'm feeling? I haven't had a lot of experience with this mutual liking and caring thing. All I know is that you're amazing, my little princess. And I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, hunh?" Jensen laid his hand on Jared's cheek, and like a cool refreshing breeze, Jared felt Jensen's words echo in his head. _*do* like you, Jay…_

Jared blinked, felt a warm wave of amazement, relief well up in him. He heard that! And Jensen called him Jay in his head—and--and more importantly, apparently Jensen felt something too. 

Jensen slowly took his hand from Jared's cheek, looked puzzled before brushing his own cheek…Jared quickly broke into Jensen's growing—confusion, panic? "No, I get it, Jen, believe me, I do. I mean, hey, I left all this," Jared swung around, arms wide and a rueful grin on his face, "to live in a one-bedroom apartment with a view of a brick wall and a parking lot—"  
Jensen laughed, but quickly sobered. "What about that life, Jared? Are you leaving me here, with your family?"

"No, no. Leave of absence. Broke my lease." 

"But what about your friends, your life?" 

"I'm Wilk, Jensen," he said, like that explained it all. "At the end of the day, I'm Wilk. And so will you be."

+

They were having dinner in the huge formal dining hall, the one they only used on formal pack business, or when all the close blood family decided to descend on the ranch.

It was…kind of horrible. It was Dad and Mom, Jeff and his fiance and June and her families. Plus dozens of blood cousins _and_ a sprinkling of pack cousins, and damn _servers_ for Fen's sake, trotting up and down the length of the table. So what if they were all a bunch of poor, young betas who later on would go back to the packland's campground, where they were thanklessly wrangling a bunch of adolescent cubs for the summer. The sight of all those kids in black and white, schlepping plates, probably made Jensen think they were some kind of snooty assholes who carried on like this all the time, with servants and shit. 

Jared glared down the table at the Alphas. Let him catch a single one of them on their own in the next couple of hours, freaking idiots…a tiny growl leaked out between his sharply clenched teeth…the damn Alphas just smiled back like they had no clue. So, alright, maybe they _were_ treating Jensen like he was a visiting Pack Alpha, but hey should have asked him first. Instead, his mate was hunched in his seat, sending out jagged waves of discomfort that Jared could hardly believe no one was picking up on.

 _Fen!_ He tried to interest himself in the food, but ended up watching Jensen. His mate nibbled at this and that; sipped a bit of soup, nibbled a little salad, picked at his steak, until finally Jared had enough. He stood. 

"Well, it's been great, but Jensen and I are calling it a night. We're pretty tired and…" he couldn't shut his mouth fast enough to stop his family from leering at him. Every single one of them. 

"Where's Uncle Jay going?" one of the cubs—June's—asked.

"They're going to go dig a den," Jeff said, and the whole lot of uncouth adolescents and adults snickered. That lasted until one of Junie's babies asked if they could help, and June smacked Jeff in the head. 

Jared took advantage of the resulting kerfluffle to grab Jensen by the hand and flee. 

 

Safe in their cottage again, Jared leaned against the closed and _locked_ door and gave in to laughter, while Jensen watched him, his expression a combination of curious and grumpy—which set Jared off again. 

When he finally calmed, Jensen yanked his sleeve. "So. What was that all about?" he asked and Jared blushed, giggled a little. 

"Ah...'dig a den' means, you know. Getting, you know…"

Jensen looked at Jared, held tilted slightly in a way that reminded Jared of his wolf, his perfect wolf. "No idea, Jay."

Jared flushed again, this time in pleasure. _Jay._ Damn, he loved when Jensen called him Jay…"Uh. Well. 'Dig a den' is a euphemism for sex."

"Oh. _Oh!_ Oh lord…your whole family thinks we're in here fucking." Instead of being annoyed or horrified like Jared expected, Jensen looked like he was about to burst into laughter. 

"Um, yeah…" Jared stared at Jensen, who was grinning at him, mouth open just enough to catch a glimpse of pink tongue pressed against his teeth. "So…might as well, hunh?"

"Who can resist your seductive charms, you hunka burning love?"

"Well, I am kind of a catch."

"I'll say," Jen said, and backed him towards the ridiculously huge bed dominating the room. Jared fell on his back, the comforter fluffing around him like a cloud. He toed off his shoes, lifted his hips as Jen eased his pants down and off, taking a moment here and there to kiss every new bit of skin exposed. He curled upwards as Jen yanked his shirt off, quick and impatient. 

Jensen stepped back, and took his own clothes off, eyes locked on Jared's face the whole time. He hesitated before coming closer. "You…do, right? Want to…?

"Fenrir's teeth, boy—I'm dying to get my hands on you."

They rolled over on the bed, and Jared ended up stretched out on top of Jensen. "Hi," he grinned down at him and wiggled a little. Jen smiled back, threaded his fingers through Jared's hair and yanked him down for a kiss. 

They took their time kissing, not in any kind of hurry, just enjoying it, until Jared began working his way downwards with a purpose. He stopped in the hollow of Jensen's throat. He swiped his tongue the length of his neck, hard enough to draw a small sound from Jen, licked damp trails from his throat to his shoulder. Growling softly, Jared shoved his nose under Jensen's arm, snuffling and licking, loud and sloppy-wet, until Jensen shoved a hand between them and pushed him out, laughing. 

He switched back to Jen's neck, kissed along the arch of Jensen's collar bone…across his chest, taking time to tweak and play with his nipples. He licked them, softly at first, then harder. Wide stripes, then kitten licks—sucking until they were puckered and red, warm against his lips. Jensen bucked up every time Jared nipped just a shade harder than was playful. "Sensitive," he breathed against them and watched them try to draw even tighter. 

He felt Jensen's dick try to move where it was pinned by his thigh, leaving the inside of Jared's thigh slick and warm. Jensen shivered, said, "Yeah. I…I guess. When it's you."

Jared pressed a gentle kiss in the middle of Jen's chest. "Good." 

He kept working a slow path downwards, reveling in the smell of, the taste of Jensen. Licked winding, wet swaths all the way, knowing that his tongue felt a little rougher than human normal; from experience, he knew most humans liked it. Jensen certainly seemed to, judging by the way he sighed and moaned and arched into it.

Halfway to where he wanted to be, Jared stopped to admire Jensen's navel, a truly lovely bit of work. It needed to be nipped at, licked and scented like everything else belonging to Jen. He nosed it, pulled back and dipped his tongue inside, rolling it around the shallow indent; making Jensen giggle and try to push Jared away. "Ticklish, Jay!" he gasped. 

"Um," Jared hummed and continued nosing his way downwards, inhaling hard at the crease of Jen's thigh, where it smelled incredibly good. He shoved his nose against Jen's balls, then trailed under, huffing wide mouthed to pick up every little bit of Jen's scent—taste it in the air. _Fuck, Jen, you smell so, so good!_

All the while, he was rubbing his own scent against Jen's skin. Everyone within hailing distance of Jensen was going to smell Jared _all_ over him. Jared liked that, like, _close-to-coming_ liked it.

He sucked and mouthed at the stretch of skin between balls and asshole, reveling in the taste—musky, bitter-salt-sweat-skin, traces of soap…pressed his face between Jensen's cheeks. _Jared!_ he heard. _Oh!_ he pushed deeper until his nose was right inside and inhaled deeply, flooding himself in waves of delicious scent.

Jared growled happily as images he picked up from Jensen began flooding his mind: Jen spread out on his back, his face twisted with so much pleasure. Then Jared's face, Jared's eyes, Jared's wolf…and then a deep blue, star-spattered sky, drifts of crisp, cold snow, a bright, lemon-yellow sun trailing golden streaks, then a midnight bonfire, throwing twisting, dancing sparks high, high into the black night—

He was getting such clear images from Jensen now, and a deep, rolling feeling of warm pleasure, contentment. Not exactly like a normal link yet, but still, it was beautiful, the way Jensen spoke in images and colors and sensation. Jared suddenly heard his name whispered over and over, floating into his mind like wispy clouds, like dandelion fluff…felt soft fur slide past his cheek and heard, just barely, _love, love, love,_ but he really wasn't sure if that was coming from himself or from Jensen.

 

Jensen wiggled and fussed quietly and Jared realized he'd fallen deep into the link for minutes now, had gone still as the images and emotions filled him. "Mrrrrh, sorry…can't have that, you being all unsatisfied, hmm…" 

He lifted himself off Jensen, and rolled him over, pulled his hips into the air, pulled his cheeks wide to look. Pretty there too, he thought. Then he was lapping at Jensen's hole, diving into his taste…Jensen gasped, tried to buck him off, but it was a weak effort, a token resistance that made Jared snicker. Jensen complained, and he came through the link even clearer now. _pushy, you_ Jen complained.

 _Shhh, mate_ Jared beamed when a pleased little feeling pushed at him, and he heard _mate…?_ quietly repeated. 

"Yes." Jared licked, loosening Jensen until he could push his tongue into him. He moaned, vibration and his hot breath against Jen's sensitive skin made him jump, then grind back on Jared's face, 

"Fuck, yeah, Jay, please, that feels _good."_

Jared shoved a couple of fingers inside Jensen and spread him, worked his tongue in and around his fingers, spit leaking out all over them and slicking the way. He drove his fingers deeper and Jensen lifted right off the bed. "There it is," Jared muttered against wet skin. 

"What the fuck was that?" Jensen gasped. "Felt—like you just shoved sparklers up my ass—"

Jared laughed, high and breathy. "Sparklers? Okay…" His smile faded…he was having such a good time, enjoying this time with Jensen so much. He wondered if Jen had ever had a time when he'd been allowed to enjoy himself…remembered how wild and starved for contact he'd been the first time they'd had sex. Jensen was never going to have to beg like that again, ever.

Unless he wanted to, of course.

He eased a complaining Jensen down, coaxed him to his back again with promises of other good things to come. Jared glanced up at Jen, watching his face as he took the thick length of his straining dick into his hand. It was blood-hot and heavy, straining to come. Jared rubbed his open mouth along the shaft, totally, completely enraptured with every part of Jen, how good he smelled, how silky-smooth his skin felt against Jared's lips. Every time Jared moved his fist, Jensen trembled, his dick jerked, drooled—sweet and salt, Jared licked it up, filled with bone-deep pleasure at the taste...

Jensen was moaning, shaking apart. _Mine. All mine,_ Jared thought _…fuck, every little bit of him is *mine*,_ and sank down on him, far as he could go, wanting to feel it against the back of his throat, just getting off on choking on Jensen's dick.

Jensen howled, and filled their link with images, sensations, so wild and intense that he set Jared off as well. He came humping Jensen's leg like he'd just discovered what his dick was for. 

 

Lying tangled together, gasping for breath in a pool of sweat and come, had to be one of the best ways to bond, Jared thought. Jensen was breathing, deep and steady, not quite snoring but close to it…Jared thought it was cute as hell. He hoped that Jensen was going to be happy here…Jared hoped too, that Jensen hadn't heard the few answering howls from the meadows around the house while they were…being kind of vocal. 

Those damn traditional Wilk….

+

It took a more than few days for Jensen to come to terms with the change his life had taken now. It was almost as if the freedom he had now was almost as oppressive as the slavery he lived under for all those years. He had another shift, alone with Jared in the cottage that was becoming their home. Jared spent those few days trying to strengthen their link, scarfing down whatever food his cousins left at their door, and sleeping, curled around each other. It was a great shift, and Jared hoped that it helped Jensen understand how good this life could be.

+

Jared finally pried Jensen out of their cottage by convincing him that spending a lazy day by the pool was a perfect, no-stress way to get to know the family better.

So…okay, maybe he had forgotten that the rest of the family swam sans suits. It was a tense hour or so, trying to explain just how little nudity mattered to people who not only changed their clothing, but also their skin. He assured Jensen that it was perfectly fine if he wore a suit, and that Jensen should just ignore dangling bits and…well, everything…and swim. Jared wore a suit too, as a sign of solidarity—unlike most of his cousins, he was used to wearing a suit. 

Of course, being the family that they were, everyone respected their decision. If respect meant snickering behind their hands and all the cubs in residence coming out to watch people swim "in their _clothes!"_ Jared heard repeated among the cubs in shocked tones. He also got to watch Jensen pretty quickly get over his fear and worry about fitting into Wilk society. He'd worried that Jensen might feel too uncomfortable, living among people who weren't human. But after a few days of watching kids shift easily between skin and fur, watching them be happy, _content,_ with no doubt that they were loved, Jensen seemed to be coming to understand what it was to be Wilk. Jared hoped he was waking up to the possibilities of a life without Kane calling the shots.

+

It was the end of the month, pack run night, and they were cub-sitting, since Jared was sitting out the run to be with Jensen.

Snuffling, laughing cubs, in fur and out, tumbled over Jared like he was part of the landscape. They were a little more reserved with Jensen—Jensen was still an oddity. The cubs could smell he was different, but it didn't seem bad different, and eventually, a few gave into curiosity and edged their way into his lap. 

Jared loved the way Jen looked, so relaxed, so…well, almost content, Jared thought. It took him a bit to notice that Jensen was quieter than normal, but Jared figured he'd wait Jen out. Eventually, he'd ask Jared about whatever it was that was bothering him. Sure enough, Jensen turned to him and asked, "Why didn't you just go? It's okay, you know, I wouldn't mind."

"No, it's not because of you, Jen. I've pretty much always been able to take it or leave it. And now that I've got a mate," he said ignoring Jensen's annoyed snort, "I don't feel the need much at all. Maybe when you shift, we can do our own private run." 

"You don't shift much…is that for me?" 

"No," Jared snorted, "I'm having too much fun…" he looked to see that the cubs were otherwise occupied before whispering "…digging the den with you to change." He waggled his eyebrows and leered hugely. 

Jen looked thoughtful then, staring at Jared. He said, "So, why not have sex like that? Shifted?"

"What—no!" Jared yelped.

"Why not?" 

"Because—because—it's wrong! Weird, I mean, not wrong, it's—"

"You all don't have sex while you're…what do you call it, 'letting the fur out'?"

"Well," Jared could feel the flush sweeping from his cheeks on downward. He stammered a bit, "It- it's an individual thing. I mean, people do, and they don't. I've never. I just—I like being able to kiss, and hold my partner. I like being in control—in wolf form, instinct has too much drive. It kind of takes over—I eat raw meat in wolf form, Jensen. _Raw!_ " he said, feeling the horror of it and expecting Jen to react the same. 

Jensen laughed lightly, leaned close and kissed his cheek. "Oh, Jared. You are just so…so… _Jared._ It's okay, I don’t have any overwhelming drive to fuck you all 'furred out'. Just wondered. Guess sushi's off the menu, hunh? Gotta say, it's pretty good though…maybe I'll be able to convince you to try it one day…" he grinned at Jared, his pink tongue flashing as it peeked between his teeth and Jared wondered if they were still talking about sushi… 

Jared stuck his tongue out. "Ech, _raw,_ he repeated, like Jensen had suggested cannibalism. He shimmied quickly out of his clothes and shook the wolf out, then stretched out on the blanket next to Jensen, whirled in a little circle and came to rest with his head on Jen's thigh. He inhaled the rich smell of him deeply, and let it out slowly. He fell asleep to the feel of Jensen's fingers working in the thick fur on his neck and shoulders, rhythmic scratching and rubbing.

 _Beautiful. You teach me. Good, good,_ he heard/felt from Jensen and answered him _yesyesyes_ before he drifted deep into dreams.

+

Jared looked around Gram's office—when he was a cub, it'd been one of his favorite places. He'd always been welcome there, and Gram had always had a treat for him. There was something about the dark wood paneling, Mission style furniture, all dark wood and leather, the tile floors that a little kid could play on all day and not mess up…this was a place full of good memories. A place that made him feel safe and loved. So he ached for poor Jensen, who looked like he was waiting for a train to Niflhel. Jared drew Jensen's hand over to rest on his knee, and covered it with his own. He did his best to shove calming thoughts through the link.

"It's okay, Sweetie-paws, you're not in any trouble, I promise," Gram said. She was planted behind the giant old desk Jared had played at so often growing up. She was wearing a threadbare terry robe, no doubt for Jensen's sake—Jared appreciated the gesture on his mate's behalf. 

Jensen smiled nervously. Jared had explained earlier that his Gram and his Dad ran the show—for every Pad in every region. He'd explained a little of the pack system, and how it worked in America World, and what America World even meant…but there was a lot more he'd have to learn. Jared was looking forward to it; he loved teaching, especially when his student was so hot, and so smart and so totally his. He beamed at Jensen, startled when someone cleared their throat theatrically. 

Jeff was in guard position behind Gram's left shoulder, standing in for their mom. He leveled a glare at Jared. _Pay attention._

 

"Jensone, everyone here at the ranch does something to pull their weight. Being a PadAlecki isn't a free ride, not for anyone, not for my grandchildren, not their spouses." She stopped and smiled at Jensen, giving him a little encouraging nod, and he smiled back—a little shaky but he looked less terrified now, Jared noted with approval. 

"Now, June, Jay-Jay's sister, has decided that she wants to step back, spend more time with her mate and the kids. She's writing a book," Gram said conspiratorially. "I'm sure it's going to be world's better than those Pack  titled giant cowpats masquerading as books."

Jared stared at the suddenly interesting pattern on the rug while Jensen snorted. 

"So, June is reducing her time in the office, and I need someone who knows this kind of work, someone who can be diplomatic but firm. It's a lot of work, a lot of responsibility and I mean a _lot_.…I need more than a secretary or whatever they call them these days...." She shook her head. "The old days were worlds simpler. Not all these telephones and smart tablets and ipots…" she snorted heavily through her nose. "So. When can I expect you to start? Couple of days from now? That'll give June a chance to come on over to sit an' chat an' get to know you and whatnot."

Jensen's mouth worked uselessly for a moment—he stared at Gram, stammered out, "I. I. I…" until Jared took pity on him. He wrapped Jen's hand up in his and beamed at his grandmother.

"I think you startled Jen, Gram. But, I think it's a great idea, right, Jen? We'll talk about salary and all later, 'cause looks like I've got some explaining to do…" he drew himself upright. "My mate, _Jensen_ and I thank you, Alpha Sophia. We'll bring you an answer before the end of the week."

"Thank you, Pad Gamma-Alpha Alecki Jared Tristan, for hearing your Alpha out. Now, pack business over—how are you doing, Jenston?" 

"Gram—Gram," Jared sputtered, annoyance flooding him on Jensen's behalf. Jensen just looked amused, and Gram winked at him. 

"I don't know what gets you so riled up all the time, Jay-Jay. You need more fur time. Good for the nerves. As for you, Green-eyes, you bring me that answer soon—you know which one I expect." She stood, hitching her terry-robe a little higher on her thin shoulders. "Sweetie-paws, you take that gorgeous wolf of yours over to June's. She's waiting." She dismissed them with a nod and a wave, and another wink at Jensen.

 

Outside the door, Jared apologized to Jensen for his Gram's constant mangling of his name. 

Jensen cracked up, leaning against Jared, staring up at him with bright eyes. "Dude, she's doing that on purpose—it's funny."

"Wha—no, she's not—Fen'sjaw, she totally is!" Jared leveled a glare at the door, and Jensen laughed harder, grabbing his hand to pull him away. 

"I swear, Jay, you're so easy."

+

Jared herded Jensen into the kitchen, because, he claimed, planning for their future made him hungry.

He dug into the fridge, hunting its numerous shelves for snacks. There were plates of sliced venison, some boar meat…a container of mouse stew, but he figured he'd wait a while before springing that on Jensen… _Damn._ Would it hurt Mom to just buy some damn lunchmeat once in while? He opened the bottom half of the fridge, and picked through the beers he found there. At least the beer was good. He grabbed two longnecks in one hand, in the other he held a plate stacked with sliced venison, a hunk of cheddar, a pint of fresh strawberries, plus a tub of macaroni salad he'd found behind the stew, balanced on top of that…"Lunch, babe," he called—and froze. Damn…he hoped Jen hadn't heard that or if he did, that he didn't mind….

Jensen turned from the windows, where he'd been standing while Jared hunted for lunch. He waved his hand towards the view—craggy mountains, wide stretches of sage and violet and gold land, cottages and houses scattered across it, all of it belonging to the PadAlecki—and laughed, a little faint and shaky. "This is all kind of…a fairytale ending, isn’t it? 

Jared set the food down on the dining table, came around to lean his chin down to rest on Jen's shoulder. "Pfft—not ending. This thing here is just beginning."

Jensen tilted his head towards Jared and smiled, and for a minute all Jared could see was that beautiful golden wolf lurking under Jensen's skin. His leaf-green eyes held all the warmth, all the words Jensen wasn't prepared to say out loud—yet. A feeling that Jared had learned to translate as mate, love came trickling through the link.

Jared knew it wasn't always going to be easy. He also knew that they'd work through it all, together. But right now, he was content; his human, his wolf, was healthy and safe, here with Jared in his home. In _their_ home. It didn't get any better than that.

Fin


End file.
